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Sunday, 15 May 2011


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Bad Egg

My thoughts are with your friend & her family....


My heart aches.


I know life isn't fair. But sometimes, I just wish it was more fair. I wish your friend could have had a long, uneventful pregnancy and I wish there is more that could be done for her and her baby.

And I hope your sister-in-law either gets pregnant soon or they come to a place where they are comfortable with seeking treatment sooner rather than later.

Hairy Farmer Family

Oh God. Sodding mother nature and her blasted obstetrics; absolutely red in tooth and claw. Poor girl, what an awful, shuddersome place to be making a decision from. Misery every way. GOD.

A good friend of mine, only a couple of years younger than me, is keen for kids but calmly delaying at least another couple of years. I feel like shaking her till her teeth rattle and bawling 'It's not a God-given RIGHT, you know! It's a bloody gift! And your eggs are AGEING, woman!' I don't want to see her struggle, but... sigh. Have to let people go their own way.


oh that is horrible. I am so so sorry for your friend and what she is going through. I know how hard it is to go through treatments and infertility and loss when you are single and it fucking sucks. I am thankful that she has you as a friend.

I also don't get the waiting for treatment folks. If I could go back in a time machine I would smack myself up the head for going through IUI's 7-13. I mean SERIOUSLY. What the eff!


Betty M

Oh your poor friend. That is so awful. Just waiting and knowing the chances of things going right being vanishingly small. I feel for her.

I feel for your SIL too. I've given many my lecture about getting the hell on with it even before anyone says there is a real, identified problem. You don't get time back. But you can only say it once or possibly twice and then back off. I found myself advising an estate agent about fertility clincs the other day. She too was in the slightly oblivious circa 40 year old not conceiving but not insisting on treatment phase. I did feel like shaking her.

Lut C

How sad for your friend, horribly sad. And such a difficult decision to have to make.

My SIL isn't moving on to treatment either, after quite a long time. I try to respect her choice, but I have a very hard time understanding it.


I am so sorry for her. I had this happen at 36 weeks with our first and 31 weeks with the twins. I have a feeling if I had another, my water would break early as well. It's very confusing as when I went in with the twins at 31 weeks, my cervix was completely closed.


Thalia, it was amazing to see you had posted again like years ago on my post. Well done, Mazeltov & Congrats on your two as well.
I've wanted for years to go back & update the post but life got in the way & then due to a work commitment (completely other random reason) I revisited the blog, spent hours to reconnect to it, discover old passwords etc & there I was completing the story...may write some more, it was after all such a fulfilling forum. How are you & your family? How's it all been going? Nicky


How wrenching. I'm so sad for your friend. It's awful to watch someone go through it and be completely unable to help them.


I'm so sorry.

I was at the pool today, my son in swim lessons, talking to the woman whose 3 kids were in there with him ... one my son's age, and twins 10 months younger than her oldest. She commented that she'd had 2 miscarriages before her oldest and that sometimes you don't get to choose (exactly when and how your kids come to you). And, yes. And of course, also, whether they get to exist, whether you get to hold them at all. I told her I didn't get to choose, either, that I had wanted two but feel very grateful to have even just the one. And I knew, as I would not once have or at least not in the same way, to tell her I was sorry to learn of her losses. It is so hard, and I've learned so much, but to borrow from Julie, I'm not sure it's worth it. And this is from the perspective of someone who made it to the other side -- I mean, it has all been worth it. But it could have been easier and been just as wonderful, and that's said from a good place, a wonderful place. Not the place your friend finds herself.


How awful! I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's situation. I don't really know what to say. It just sucks.

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