Pob at 26 months: The importance of being kind

Last week, Pob turned 26 months old. Biggest change this month is language. She has now reached real fluency with language, using complete sentences, and  correct tense and grammar almost all the time. This month she switched from "Pob do it" to "I do it," for example, and now uses "I" and other pronouns correctly most of the time, with some misses on the me/you split such as "Help you." Of course she still gets plenty wrong, to whit as an incident earlier this week. She slipped down a couple of stairs while climbing them, and it gave her a fright. She cried for a bit, I comforted her, then her nanny appeared to take her out. They left our room together to go down stairs, after a little bit of persuasion as Pob didn't want to go. Once she'd agreed to head down the stairs she said: "I'm not scarey any more"

She's understanding language rules, and these are leading to some of the more adorable mixups such as yesterday when I asked her if she was hungry. She agreed "Yes, I'm hungry, and I'm play-ey." Nice try, darling.

This shift to fluency was accompanied by some very adult turns of phrase. She now uses "Umm" when she can't think of what word to use. She regularly tells Junior what to do: "You stay here with Mummy, Junior, I'm going downstairs with Daddy." She repeats everything she hears. And her most common phrases are "I want it/that/some of those" and "What's that called?" She also uses substitutes - "I want that thingy" and "Where's that stuff."

Pronounciation is really very good. She misses a few things. 's's in the middle of words often disappear. Double 'tt's become 'p's - "boppom," for example. But the 'p' for 'f' substitution has gone - 'breakfast' is now correct. And some words she just has her own pronounciation for, most notably 'muter' for 'computer.' Like all our children, I suspect, the 'muter' is of great interest, and I've now realised computer manufacturers either don't know this or have a sick sense of humour, locating the 'on/off' switch so prominently in an easily touchable spot.

She remains a strong willed child, and we've had some spectacular tantrums over sharing toys with Junior, and when we just simply are not giving her exactly what she wants right now. It's hard to remain calm sometimes when she starts to break down even after I've said she can have the required object, it's just that it's going to take me all of 30 seconds to get it. Mostly I manage, but with gritted teeth. 

She is also extremely loving and social. She kisses Junior goodnight every night, and asks to hold him. Sometimes. She helps to wash him in the bath and has been showing him how to bounce in his bouncer. With the little friends we have who are her age she shares reasonably well, and is happy to give and receive hugs while they are playing.

She wants desperately to play with older children, though, and particularly with her cousins. Luckily H's nephews are adorable with her and give in to every whim. My nephews, and one in particular, are not so kind. Today at my mother's house, cousin J just refused to play with her at all. He's seven. I feel he should be old enough to give her 5 minutes of his time and to understand how important it is to her. She seems to rise above it, though, and managed to play with him even while he was clearly not playing with her - saying "chase, chase" and running behind him as he walked around the flat, asking where he was every time he left the room and running to find him and bring him back. It really hurts my feelings on her behalf, even while it clearly doesn't hurt hers. I can't protect her, I can't make him a kinder boy, but I wish I could. I worry about my nephew, and wish he could have a bit of the joy that a friend's seven year old had last week when she played 'house' with Pob non-stop for a whole afternoon, including building the house, drawing pictures to hang on the walls, having a tea party, cooking supper, washing up the dishes, having races on Pob's wheelybugs, and dressing up as fairies. Pob was enchanted, and couldn't stop gazing at the seven year old in adoration, finding it hard to let go of her hand as if the child would spontenously vanish if released. I wish my nephew understood what he's missing.

Oh Pob, I wish for you that you will find the kind children, and understand that the unkind ones are only like that because they aren't getting what they need out of life, or because life is not being very kind to them, and not because there is anything wrong with you.

Comments

[Orodemniades]

Aw, showing him how to use the bouncer - adorable!

I know what you mean about older kids, though. The Chieftain has no one his age (20 mos) in town at the moment and rarely gets to be around other kids, never mind play with them. He had a great time running around my friend's house on Thanksgiving, because her 7 and 6 year old niece and nephew were there. Or maybe he just really enjoyed plinky-plonking on her piano...

...but the kind kids, yeah. I know what you mean.

[Lut C.]

Linnea is doing good with language at 25 months, but doesn't sound as advanced as Pob is. She's discovered 'mine' and 'yours' but not 'I'.

I can imagine how another child giving Pob the cold shoulder wrings your heart (it would mine). In theory, it's supposed to teach children about the grown-up world. But that's not very uplifting.

[Nico]

My heart hurts just reading about how your nephew treated her. Ugh. And then lights with joy at the playing house with your friend's daughter. I hope that for all our kids the latter interactions are more common than the former.

[Bea]

Ah, kids. Who knows what's going on in his mind. Afraid of being usurped? Cottoned on to a certain male stereotype? Just feeling plain unloved and uncooperative? The peer group has a lot to answer for at that age, making it harder to get to the bottom of. The things they say about what happens to kids after they start school. At least Pob seems ok with it.

She does seem to be doing well. Quite the grown-up little miss these days, isn't she?

Bea

[Krista]

I love "play-ey"!!!! I nannied for twins while I was going through law school and when they were learning language the little girl was told often she was beautiful and would tell others that they were "pretty-ful" I LOVED it.

[Betty M]

It seems pretty universal the older kid ignoring the younger. They will play but generally only on their own terms. It makes it so hard for the little ones to know where they are placed in the grand scheme of the revered older child's life.

How fast it all goes though. She will be at school before we know it.

[isabel]

J's mom needs to teach J some manners.

[sarah]

i'm not one to pass judgement on these things, esp not having seen the scene, but i think i agree with isabel. if piper's cousins were giving her the cold shoulder, i know their mom would tell them that wasn't nice and "ask" them to at least take a few moments to play with her.

i was on the other side of the heart-wrenching at playgroup this morning. piper was completely disenchanted with a new girl in the group and threw a toy at her. of course we had a stern talking to and punishment, but i'm hoping sometimes it's not the kid, it's just that they're two!