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Monday, 19 October 2009


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I know it is small consolation- but I was completely unable to brestfeed. I felt guilty when I realised how much sleep I got because of bottle feeding. The games we play in our minds, eh?




I find I eat emotionally a LOT more when I'm tired (O has sleep issues too which come and go). And without the exercise, I think I'd be going mad.

I think you're on the right track with the resolving to get out more, even if it's harder on you and Junior's schedule.

And for what it's worth, I commend you for everything you've been doing re: nursing and napping. I don't think you're asking for too much to get some measure of YOU back.



Oh yes, my dear, yes, get some you time back and don't let it go on another three months like someone I know -- a person who is looking very haggard indeed and is becoming less and less fun with every passing day and every sleep-deprived night. And then get in touch with that certain person and give her a little motivational kick up the backside, OK?


Shifting the weight takes time - with number two, I was in pre-pregnancy clothes about 5-6 months after the birth, and that was with tandem breastfeeding.

That said, brisk walks will certainly help, as will grown-up time at the gym. I actually quite enjoy mine :)


I'm not going to slam these women, for one, because I know some women exactly like them, and mine are very kind and lovely too--but please please don't compare yourself to others.

It made me nuts to do that. You are you and everyone is different. Reality is that yes, after my first, which I had earlyish at 28, I dropped the weight super fast. But that never ever happens after the first. Hasn't happened this time, at all. I'm 41, and it's not my first pregnancy and I'm tired. 16 months in, I'm still carrying at least 15 pounds extra, maybe more--haven't weighed myself in a long time.

Your friend? Is practicing a very different style of parenting, and no, you don't have to do it her way, but you could get out more and do more, but ONLY if you really want to, and not because you feel you have to.

If you really do feel unwell, think about seeing your Doctor and ask about blood levels of thyroid, iron, vitamin D, etc. It's officially an epidemic over here of women who were being diagnosed with PPD and it turns out their D levels are extremely low. Worth a blood test?

Regardless, please be kinder to yourself. You are amazing in my opinion.

Girl Detective

You know that part in Bridget Jones where she gets down to her desired weight and her friends all tell her she looks sick? That's a scene I remind myself of often. My younger is 3.5, and I'm back to wearing the clothes I bought post-partum. I went up about a size these past months because of changes in depression and BC meds and a tendency to compulsive eating. Plus, I just love food.

What's helped a bit is weeding my closet, trying to better my diet (more mediterranean and asian style things) and making a commitment to a yoga class twice a week that's a mile away that I walk to and from. My acceptance of it goes in cycles. Right now I'm on a downtick. It'll pass. When I feel OK about it, I figure this is just a stage, and it will pass, too.

As for getting out I'm a huge proponent of it, and my shrink supports me and cheers me on in this. She reminds me that I do better, and thus do better with my family, when I have quiet time to myself.Two young boys make for a mess and a noise level beyond my ability to deal.

You're in a tough spot with the BF, and you're doing great with it. One bottle a day for him will not hurt, and can actually help in other ways, like giving you and him a break from one another, plus easing up your mental state.

Be kind to yourself, in what you do and how you think.


I hear you. TK was born 9 months ago and I'm still wearing maternity pants because they are the only things that fit me. But, it's depressing putting them on every day. And I just know people who don't know about my IF think I've gotten myself pregnant again.

I think it's not a bad thing that you are toying with the idea of trying to get your life back a little. It will be good for you.

As the others have said, try to be gentle with yourself.

fisher queen

It takes me FOREVER to lose pregnancy weight, and I put on a ton of it- 60 lbs this time, with 20 more to go after 6 months. I have friends who go hiking, on trips, back to work, while I feel like I'm just beginning to get the hang of things. I feel totally inadequate.


Yep, yep, yep. It is sticking to me like glue, too. I was taking long walks with my daughter in the park, but now I am working again and I just can't find the time for anything. I like eating, too, and chocolate is too wonderful to cut out completely.

I hope you can figure out some strategy that works for you.


We're all different ... I just hope you can find an approach that balances your needs and the kids' and lets you get the exercise, "me" time, etc. that you want and deserve (but no more than that). But heaven knows it's difficult (and I've only done it with one), and honestly I figure if everyone's standing at the end of the first year then it's a success. I guess what I'm saying is that I think it's important to take care of yourself, yes, but also, that a big part of that is to allow yourself "down" time and imperfections.

Lut C.

Emotional eater, that would be me too.

Stopping the gain is excellent all by itself.
With such a young child you already have a lot on your plate, can you convince yourself that you'll do what you can now but leave greater ambitions for later?

tree town gal

No time to read other comments but I am very empathetic about the emotional eating. If it makes you feel better, I'm struggling to shed 20 lbs still from the birth of my second child... and he's, um, 14 months. And like you, it came of quickly at first. Then it didn't. Then I was stressed out of my mind with work and not sleeping and newborn. Then I gained weight. And I'm 45 yrs old and I find it much harder. I commend you that you paid attention and stopped at 4 lbs. Give yourself credit. It's hard when stress and sleeplessness are constants. Be kind to yourself. Maybe make your goal to just get a little more exercise and to not gain right now.


You won't want to read this...


(sorry, that was massively unhelpful, I know! Just curious so I Google-Scholared it...)


You know? I lost a ton of weight WHILE pregnant with the triplets, and I've already lost 23 pounds in this pregnancy... and I'm *still* overweight. So I think you've still got me beat. ;)

For what it's worth - I left the triplets exactly twice once they came home from the NICU before I went back to work when they were 4 months old - once for my 6 week post partum appointment, and once for my interview for the job I ultimately started. Other than going to work at that point? I never once went out (after work, for example) until they were over a year old. I don't think you're alone in that you haven't gotten out much. BUT - if you need that time, you can certainly schedule some time that minimizes your time away from feedings, but still gives you a little alone time. Even if it's just an hour at a bookstore or a coffee shop with a friend.

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