This morning we had an interview at a nursery school for Pob. They were completely inflexible about the time, which overlapped with a likely feeding time for Junior. So we decided the best option was to leave Junior with our nanny, expressed milk and a bottle, and to see how they got on.
The interview went well. Pob was quite charming which was a relief given she had been very screamy all morning. She played and chatted and asked for a biscuit when the children were having their snack. She asked about the fish and told the director that her torch wasn't working so it needed new batteries. I think we passed. Whether or not we get a place is another matter as they only have 12 spots. But we did our best, and if we don't get a spot there there is a lovely nursery a bit closer which has us top of their wait list, so I think we'll be fine.
Meanwhile, since the director had kept us waiting 30 minutes, Junior was starving so the nanny had no choice but to try him with the bottle. She said he kept grizzling and refusing at first, but eventually realised it wasn't so bad, and took about 100mls (3 oz and a bit).
It's a relief to know he will take a bottle, but I have to confess to also feeling a bit sad. I know this is not a rejection of me, but it's also only the second feed he's had without me since he was born (the first was one overnight feed when he had jaundice in the hospital and was fed in the nursery while I was pumping). It's a step away from the close - perhaps too exclusive? - relationship that we've had.
Anyway, I've now pumped 180mls so I guess the boobs were ready to feed him. I will focus on knowing it's good to know that we have the flexibility of the bottle if we need it.
Good luck with the preschool! Glad to hear Junior went for the bottle, but I can understand the ambivalence about him taking a bottle that previously he refused. It's tough
Posted by: Sami | Thursday, 10 September 2009 at 14:33
I think those of us whose bodies disappoint us in so many ways seem to have an emotional attachment to nursing that goes above and beyond what is best for the baby, and into territory that has more to do with forcing our bodies to do what we want them to do for a change!
Recognizing that helped me a lot when renal failure forced me to admit that my second child and I were not going to have the nursing relationship I wanted.
I'd toss in some advice to you. Now that Jr. IS taking a bottle from someone (that isn't you), be sure to reinforce it every day or two with additional bottles so he doesn't forget how (a problem we encountered). May I even go so far as to suggest passing a middle of the night feeding to your spouse!! This did good things for my sanity, even if you do decide to use that time to pump instead of sleep.
Posted by: May | Thursday, 10 September 2009 at 21:17
See, that kinda worked! Now just try breastfeeding without all the pumping and supplementing and see what happens.
Really, you could still breastfeed for a long long time and he could have bottles while you are out once in a while and it will all be okay.
Posted by: Aurelia | Friday, 11 September 2009 at 05:03
I know how you feel, but it's actually a fantastic thing that he's taking a bottle. I nursed Isabella for 13 months and she was bottle-fed so infrequently that when she was given one, she fought it and wouldn't take it. The twins are more accustomed to it, but Nicholas still prefers being nursed, by far. Embrace the freedom the bottle gives you!
Posted by: kristi | Saturday, 12 September 2009 at 03:24
Ahh the nursery school interview. It always stuck me as completely the wrong way round we should be interviewing them not hem us. Pity they dont see it like that. At least London isn't quite as bad as NYC yet on that front.
A bit of flexibility is a good thing. You can then get a little bit of your life and time with POB back maybe?
Posted by: Betty M | Saturday, 12 September 2009 at 09:08
Interview? They get to cherry pick which kids they'll take?
It's first come, first serve here (which has it's own issues).
Posted by: Lut C. | Saturday, 12 September 2009 at 20:56
wow, i can't imagine Piper being auditioned for a spot. i like to think i'm pretty low key about things but it would be hard not to feel sort of defensive or something, not quite the right word. but interviewing a two year old?? i don't get it.
i completely get the sadness about missing the feeding. and i think i will feel these things more intensely with #2.
Posted by: sarah | Monday, 14 September 2009 at 20:10
The bottle isn't a bad thing-really. I guess that I HAD to be OK with it, since I wasn't going to be able to be there to actually feed either BabyA or Son during the day. If I was going to be available, we always nursed, just to make sure that we didn't lose that connection. I agree with the freedom piece-a bottle left behind, a pump before you leave, and you can have an hour or two by yourself or with someone else without having to worry about it. Your sanity is worth something too.
Posted by: Jennifer | Tuesday, 15 September 2009 at 17:34
I know what that's like. While P was getting a bottle every couple of days after a month (so that we knew he would take one), it was still sad for me. It was sadder yet when I decided it was time to wean--the first time I offered him a cup of milk when he asked to nurse and he took it so happily broke my heart, even though it was intentional and initiated by me.
It's nice to have some flexibility but it's hard to have to share those special times with your child.
Posted by: Erin | Friday, 18 September 2009 at 13:27