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Tuesday, 22 July 2008


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Write what you like, of course!

But I'm biased. I've got blogs I read where I'm only really interested when something momentous happens, blogs where the quality of the information/discussion makes me keep reading, and blogs where I actually care about what happens to the author. You fall into the last category (sniff!). Though of course your good writing helps too.


I vote (ah... assuming I have one) for writing about whatever the hell you want to. I do read all your posts but I just don't comment much any more - maybe I should as some form of payment for the pleasure of reading? I don't know - maybe I would stop reading if I felt like I had to comment.
And why do I still read? Just to see what you're up to - there isn't any one thing in particular that I am hoping you will post about (I know that photos of your daughter are too much to ask for).
Take Care


I agree 100% on the commercialization of blogs. I am horrified to see new blogs that are overrun with ads and that have blogrolls that are clearly just begging for traffic.

I noticed a breakout session at BlogHer (didn't attend, just scrolled through the offerings to see) on IF, but I'm sorry to say that I'm not surprised it wasn't enough.

As for your writing, keep up whatever you want to write. I never have to comment anymore, but I still read, too.


I still read your blog! Write about whatever you feel like. I'll keep reading.


Account Deleted

It's interesting that point stuck with you. I find that thought irritating too, just like the marketing dude that told me that my blog is too "unfocused." ALL BLOGS are that way. Seriously.

Keep writing if it's important to you. And not all bloggers have to go all commercial and whorey like me. :)


I agree - write about whatever moves you to write. It doesn't have to be focused or appeal to a certain audience. As you evolve, so will your blog and your audience. I'll keep reading, too.

Pob is 10 months old already? Wow! How fast the time flies by. Enjoy your day!


I am sadly behind on my blog reading, Thalia - just read your posts today. Please forgive my catch-all comment.

I agree with the others; write about what it is which moves you to write. There doesn't have to be a coherence or order to it, seeing as it's your blog. I'm also not a big fan of commercialization either; to me that undermines the community atmosphere of the blogging community.

And re: your IVF cycle - I'm thrilled to hear that you're doing so well. Very happy to hear they went sans suppression this time too, it seems like it's working quite well thus far. May it continue with the very best outcome!

And coming from a woman who didn't expect to be able to breastfeed, I confess that I have a visceral reaction when I hear of studies that try and prove one way is better than the other. I am thrilled that I CAN breastfeed, of course, as it's something I wanted to do very much. And so for me it's very rewarding. But that doesn't mean it's the right choice for everyone.

I'm still enthralled and cannot believe that Pob is 10 months old. The adage is really true, time goes fast, doesn't it?


i actually enjoy the variety - infertility related thought pieces along with the Pob updates. I say just write what strikes you that day and make your blog about you - I enjoy reading it all.


Write what you want, sweetie. We'll be here. xx


I think you could go to BlogHer and walk away with any of a number of experiences. I personally avoided the sponsor room and didn't go to panels on monetizing my blog. Therefore, I didn't experience the money-making aspect of it. I went to the compassionate bloggers panel and walked away with 3000 fantastic ideas. And connected with other IFers (especially a bunch who came out of the woodwork). I think if you go in expecting to see something, you'll see it (both good and bad).

I walked in hoping to find others using their blogs for social change and I found others using their blogs for social change.

The only place I expect to have a kosher option is a Jewish event. But that's me.

I think you should keep writing what you enjoy writing. Audience will follow.


I'm with the others - write what you want. I come here to read about YOU (and Pob, of course), not any particular topic.

Fingers crossed for this cycle...


Dear Thalia, what I love about your blog is that it makes me think on so many levels. So please continue to write about anything and everything -- as far as time allows. (Only if I could put in a small vote for a thorough Pob update? I miss that girl something awful!)

I completely missed your last post (a Bloglines failure, I think), so that's why no reaction from me -- and the same thing seems to have happened to a lot of us. Having read the post now, I do agree with you completely. And I feel the same way as you -- I think I would have done it all over again, only perhaps (one hopes) with a bit less sobbing and self-flagellation...

I must say, "went down like a cup of cold sick" made me laugh out loud. What an image. Ugh.


Please keep writing about whatever moves you to write. I don't comment often, but I read every post.


Regarding the "decide what you are and stick with it" idea of blogging. What if what you are changes? People change and what I enjoy about the bloggers I read is that they are not just writing about one aspect of their life. I may not always have a comment on these other aspects of their life because I may not have any experience with it or maybe I just don't have anything else to add.

I hope you continue to blog about anything and everything you want to blog about because almost all of the time, I get something from your posts even when I don't comment. But ultimately, I think you have to decide if you are getting anything out of it for you.


Your new post didn't update on my bloglines as well, so don't take that to mean much. All I got was the link! Very funny, I thought it might be a new method of zen minimalist blogging.

As for the focused approach to blogging, I completely disagree with the blogher person about that. I want to know about the whole person, not just one aspect of them. The most highly trafficked bloggers I know blog about many things. Like political bloggers who write about punk rock and human rights and their family adventures as well.

Or like me, writing about lots of stuff here and there. I don't get lots of traffic, but I get some from different groups, and if I didn't write about all of me, then most of my blog would make no sense.

Write what you want.

Hairy Farmer Family

God, I'm going to have a tough time sounding original here! What everyone else said re: updated posts not showing up and write whatever you bloody like! We'll still read it!

Betty M

Not original here either. Selfishly I would like you to continue blogging as yours was the first blog I read and your blogroll led me to many others. I also think you should continue writing about whatever you like. If people only want infertility related talk then they can pass over the Pob talk. Personally as someone with a good few science/medical blogs on my bloglines I really like the sciency posts - more of those please. I do try and comment on most posts even though sometimes it really is just as a hey I'm reading rather than anything sensible. And going away really louses things up hence my late posting. Which reminds me - glad the day 5 scan went well.


What motivated you to start blogging? Is that still your motivation (regardless of all this peripeheral stuff)?

I often start out reading a blog out of curiosity -- that person has something interesting to say or is in a situation to which I can relate. I usually continue reading because I remain interested (whether it's for her content, style, situation, whatever). Reading about different facets of a person's life helps maintain that interest and often leads to a sincere concern for the individual. Frequency of posts (or lack thereof) generally don't matter to me. Blog ads do start to get irritating (and I never click through on principle).

I don't get a huge amount of traffic on my blog and there are days I wonder why I bother. I've written two or three posts in the last couple of years to see if it affects who comments, and sometimes it does, but I always feel guilty about it later. I started blogging as an outlet for my frustration with IF and I continue because I love the community of women dealing with the same crap that I am. They get it, and I love them for it. And I hope they don't mind if I post about the silly things my 3yo says, or the bugs at the campground, or the weather.

Carla Hinkle

Grrr... my original comment got lost when I tried to post it from my phone...trying to recreate ...

Of course you should write whatever you want, but from a reader's perspective, I enjoy reading whatever gets you enthusiastic about writing. Two of my favorite bloggers (Cecily and Julia from Here Be Hippogriffs) have both gone through infertility and come out the other side ... but I still read them avidly because their writing is so good, mostly I think because they write about what interests them. And their styles/motivations couldn't be more different! The actual *subject* doesn't matter that much to me ... but I think it should matter to the writer.

Pob updates always welcome of course!


Can't really talk about anything to do with idealised dreams of the marvellousness of breast-feeding just at the moment, whether they are scientific theories or Granola Mums Attack. Still a little raw.

That doesn't mean I don't want you to POST about it, or anything else that takes your interest, and I like Pob up-dates, and I am getting all interested in and excited about your up-coming cycle (stalker! Stalker!). Please carry on and I'll leap on board when I've got up some momentum.

Pamela Jeanne

I'm facing a similar dilemma...we're more than one dimensional yet there's clearly one major factor that started me here and now I'm on the fence about how to reconcile my conflicted thoughts...


Yep, I'm with everyone else. Blog about whatever the heck you feel like writing about on any given day. And I totally suck at commenting these days, but know that I'm reading every post and routing for you as you go through this cycle.


Funny, I started to post a comment to the breastfeeding stuff and then decided I just wasn't communicating what I meant to effectively and so I didn't post it (the gist of it was that the benefits of b/f'ing, whatever they are, must be weighed against the costs, e.g. maternal fatigue and stress if things don't go well, and of course that's a personal sort of weighing). But anyway...I come back because I enjoy your writing and reading about your life on all its various levels. I'd be bummed if you decided to post on just one topic (unless that's where you "were") or to divide up into multiple blogs (read too many already!).


I had a brief period of time where I wasn't sure which direction to take with my blog, then I realized, I don't need a direction. The blog has always been about my life and that's what it's going to continue to be about. I know people won't always stay, but I will always be me. Whoever wants to come along for the ride is welcome and no hard feelings to those who want off this crazy thing.

Jo in Utah

I read your blog and comment sometimes, but I like reading the WHOLE story, rather than the bits and pieces. I have cried with you and laughed with you all along the way. So keep writing whatever you like.


I say write about whatever the heck you feel like,since it's your platform.

I intend to keep my blog after the babies are born, it's all part of the story.

But then again, I am not the least bit commercially inclined about my blog, and so perhaps I'm doing it all wrong ;)



still reading all that you care to write about...


To be honest, it drives me crazy when bloggers compartmentalize and have 5 different blogs- one for IF, one for marriage issues, one for funny stuff, whatever. I can barely keep up with the blogs I read regularly, let alone start reading several from the same person.
Also, don't take lack of comments for lack of interest. Your breastfeeding post seemed complete- you were happy with your own decisions yet recognized it doesn't always work for others. It didn't feel like it "needed" a comment because it felt right as is (nor were you looking for advice or commiseration, which are the other times I try to comment).
But yeah, I hear you re: where to go with the blog once the crisis is over. But I think people make the mistake of thinking 'oh, I can't write about that on an IF blog' when really the issue is, how do I make my new story as interesting and compelling as the old one so my readers stick around even if the topics have morphed? (Not you specifically, bloggers in general).


Thalia, I've been reading our thoughts for quite a while and I do enjoy and can relate to so much. Please write what's on your mind...to me that's what blogging is all about.


I think there is a danger of over analysing things. Write what you like, what you are interested in and what makes you happy, I say anyway :)

Ms. Planner

I loved this post Thalia. It accurately captured how I feel about my blog right now. What is the product? And who is my target market? Because, ultimately, I see this blog as something I am creating. And - in my opinion - the best creative outcomes usually begin with a clear purpose. As a career marketer I've struggled with what my blog has become now that I am a mom, who previously miscarried and struggled with infertility. Who the frick am I now? Thanks for putting the thoughts I have had floating in my head for the past 2 weeks.


BlogHer was surreal, to say the least. I don't get the whole monetizing aspect especially as most of the folks looking to do that have fairly self-indulgent blogs. I mean all of us are self-indulgent but most of us don't expect to be paid for our narcisssim, kwim?

The best part of BlogHer was hanging with the other marginalized groups. And meeting some of the folks who I've long admired.

So just what is it going to take to get you to SF?

Ellen K.

Some good thoughts here. I'm feeling conflicted about my own blog and its "integrity" (sometimes opposed to my own), as well as what my duty (if any) is to the IF community. Reading about this year's BlogHer raised these feelings. These transition times are awkward and hard to blog through, IMO. But in general I think that the idea of a "focused" blog is rather false and self-limiting.


I would love to participate in discussions on interesting topics, but that's the thing I'm tending to cut out at the moment. The community seems to be more about support, so that's where I'm directing my energies. I do enjoy reading your interesting topics, though, I did read/click through the last post, and I did appreciate your efforts posting it. One day I'll get on top of things a little more and participate a bit better in those kinds of things, I promise.

In the meantime, life is easier if you don't need validation, if you find out how to become that person, let me know!


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