Don't be so quick to hit 'save' next time

Apologies for those of you who've been eying this page and wondering just how lazy one blogger can get - posting a link with no post. Answer is, obviously, I hit 'save' rather than 'save draft' and forgot about it. Since I saw it show up in my bloglines this morning, perhaps I should just get on and blog about it and save the other pending posts (I'm getting really behind - now got a list that includes: Pob at 10 months, Secondary infertility, progress on this cycle, the trip to the zoo, the naming ceremony. Argh) for another day.

So yes, this article. Apparently breastfeeding promotes the release of a 'trust' hormone - oxytocin - in the mother's brain. Unsurprisingly, perhaps, they don't know what's going on in the baby's brain simultaneously. I would imagine perhaps something similar - although perhaps baby brains have a lot else going on so this may be just one change of many they are experiencing during that period of extraordinary growth and change in the first year, and hence lost in the shuffle.

It's not really a ground-breaking study, nor is it telling us something we didn't really know. But it got me thinking. I wonder what it misses out. Does the same thing happen when someone takes their baby in their arms and lovingly offers them a bottle? Does thinking about your baby while you sit attached to a breast pump have some of the same effect? I know the aim of much of this research - or much of the promotion of this kind of research - is to promote breastfeeding, but what is there out there for those of us who struggled to succeed at breastfeeding, and for whom, therefore, these kind of articles are like a poke in the eye with a large sharp stick? Is there any evidence (I bet there isn't) that women who didn't breastfeed their babies - or didn't breastfeed for long - have weaker attachment to their children? I know the evidence for the health benefits, but I'm less clear that there is evidence to show stronger attachment - after all, how exactly would you measure it without being confounded by a lot of additional factors that are hard to identify and pull out of the data?

Having said that, I am delighted I persevered in my totally insane way with breastfeeding, despite everyone (except some of you, dear ladies in the computer) telling me to give it up as a bad job. The last two months of breastfeeding, where Pob seemed to really know what to do, and where I was less stressed, and where she started to need less from the bottle (perhaps because she started solids around six months), were lovely. Some of the times earlier were lovely too, but they also involved me being chained to the house most of the time, and constantly measuring what I was producing and what she was getting, which was less fun. Not to mention the part where I cried all the time. But despite that, for us it was worth it. Those moments were lovely.

Might I have had those lovely moments with bottle feeding? Yes, I might. And we'll never know what the difference would have been. For us, it was right to persevere. I would do it again if I had the time over again. For others, it might not be right to persevere in the same way, and that's ok. I don't think it means that 'trust' between mother and baby is necessarily less, just perhaps that the way trust is formed might be a bit different. But isn't each relationship between a mother and baby quite unique? Let's bear that in mind when reporting about breastfeeding issues and talking about breastfeeding in general (cue another post about the breastfeeding websites that come up when you're having trouble, and how much like shit they can make you feel if things aren't going well).

Comments

[Jenn]

I breastfed my twins but I really didn't feel like I gained any bonding from it. I had a hard enough time bonding as it was and I think the struggles and demands of breastfeeding didn't help. Once it was easier, I still didn't get the warm fuzzy feelings everyone talks about while nursing. I wouldn't do it any other way, but I certainly don't think it's the be all end all of bonding. And it would be really interesting to see if those thing happen while pumping or bottlefeeding like you said.

[Sassy]

Just saw this post now. Didn't come up on Google Reader after you added the post to the link, so please don't be disappointed in the lack of comments.

[katie]

Same for me - I saw the link and read it but didn't get a New Post notification on Google Reader after you actually wrote a post!

[DinoD]

I also didn't have this come up on my RSS Bandit feeds (truly).
Are you feeling more loved? :-)
DinoD

[electriclady]

yep, updated post didn't show up on bloglines either!

[Nico]

I did read the original article, but wasn't quite sure why you posted it so didn't comment... I haven't read the study itself, but I'm always (as a computational biologist myself) somewhat suspicious of sweeping conclusions like this one that are drawn based on computational analysis alone. I should go and read the source doc to really make an evidence based statement / conclusion - but just too many other things on my plate right now. I do in general hate the reporting of scientific studies in the popular media, they leave out so many of the important bits like caveats and context that the authors usually do place around their work.

[Betty M]

Also coming here just now as in google reader hell after being away a few days with no internet access and returning to 100s of posts for which I blame Blogher.

As to the article these things are like the endless food x causes cancer/prevents cancer stories - "science" journo gets and regurgitates press release without much thought.

[Girl Detective]

I breastfed my first, and had many problems, and we aren't particularly "bonded" to one another. He didn't like the sling, being held, has a bad temper, and we often have been at odds with one another. I was much more relaxed about everything with my second, though, and breastfeeding was a lot easier (though still painful for the first several weeks, rather than days--those things they don't tell you!) and he and I were more attached, largely because he enjoyed the sling and being held. As with anything, I think the people involved dictate what works and doesn't. A mother who is in pain or resents the physical investment of breastfeeding is not going to be radiating loving attachment, and her kid will perceive that, I'm sure. Weigh the costs/benefits for whoever is in the BF relationship,and base the decision on that, not on studies.

[Lori]

Loved this post. Breastfeeding is such an emotional thing for me. It's insulting to think that because I was unable to breastfeed, that I am any less bonded to my children or that they trust me any less. Perhaps they have a greater bond with their father, who was able to be more involved with feeding time, which no matter how the nutrition is delivered, can be an opportunity to bond in a peaceful manner.

[Karen]

The only reason I didn't comment on this earlier is that I didn't see this earlier. As you probably know, I'm a huge advocate of breastfeeding, but one of the reasons I am is that I think that the level of true advocacy available to women in the United States is deplorable. I have no idea what it's like in the UK (I hope better).

I think you did an amazing job, and I hope that overall it was a positive experience for you. I'm sorry that it was such a difficult and trying time for you.

I agree that research like this is rather one-sided. While the benefits of breastfeeding are quite clear, the other side of things like bonding, etc. have NOT been studied. Do we KNOW that the same level of bonding, etc. do not exist with bottle feeding? One of my triplets was fed only breast milk, but only in bottles. Does that mean I'm less bonded to her than to the other two? I certainly hope not. Would anyone know which of the three didn't breastfeed directly by looking at them? (Actually the occupational therapist knew right away which one was the bottle feeder because she didn't have a tongue thrust response with her food... but that's another story)

[Lut C.]

This post read like a pat on the back to me (lots of trouble with BF,supplemented with SNS all the way). Thanks.