Back again

BT still sucks. Took several days longer than even a basic new connection to get our broadband reestablished. Despite the fact they all admitted it was their fault we got cut off in the first place. And we had to move the router to get the connection to work. So now it's under Pob's high chair which is not really ideal. But apparently the fact that the line in the study is not of sufficient quality for the router to be connected there is not their fault, either. I still want to kill someone as some kind of revenge for the hours I spent on the phone to them, the misery of talking to 17 different people, none of whom ever seemed to be able to access the records of our previous conversations, the people who made me cry...anyway, it was all rubbish and it's not over yet, but at least we're back on line. I hadn't consciously articulated the extent to which I depend on the internet(s) to keep me sane, to help me live my life.

Life is pretty hectic. We hired a nanny, neither of the two I wrote about before. She starts on 12 May. I'm going back to work 4 days a week (or 80%) on 19 May. Until then I'm working the equivalent of one day a week which is really cutting into my Pob time. We don't have any childcare set up but H is around some of the time, my mum has done some, and I've arranged telcos for when Pob is napping. I've been cooking all Pob's food, which takes quite a bit of time. Pob still isn't sleeping very well. I'm preparing to take Pob away for 2 weeks.The first to run a training course, my mum is coming to look after Pob so that I can work during the day. The second week Po and I will join H in Italy for a holiday. The amount of stuff I seem to need to take for her is quite extraordinary, I'm just glad mum doesn't think she needs to take much for herself. The trip is necessitating the purchase of a readily foldable stroller to get through customs. I really want a Bugaboo Bee, which is supposed to be foldable with one hand, but H and I tried it yesterday and it really isn't. The Maclaren techno is, but it's hideous, and doesn't look nearly as comfortable for Pob. But I should stop being such a fashion victim and just buy the Maclaren, yes?

I stopped pumping. I dropped the daytime pumps a few weeks ago, while we had visitors here from the US. After we stopped feeding Pob at 2230, I kept pumping at that time, partly in case we went back to doing that feed, partly to build a freezer stash for when I stopped breast feeding, so she could have breast milk for a bit longer. For the first few nights I got loads at this pump (for me) - around six or seven ounces (180-210ml). Then it started dropping, down to around 100mls. And looking thinner. It started to feel less important that I keep going. Last Saturday night was my last pump. Medela are coming to collect my Symphony on Tuesday. Today I threw away some of my more abused pumping equipment. Tomorrow I'm packing away the steriliser we kept in our bedroom for night time cleaning.

I don't miss the pumping (hahahaha) but I am finding it hard, and sad, to stop breast feeding. As expected, once I got down to two feeds a day, which is what I'm on now, my supply dropped fairly precipitously. Pob is still getting what she needs in the morning, as she has her porridge straight afterwards, but in the evening she has a bottle afterward the breast feed, and the amount she takes from the bottle has been steadily increasing over the last few days. I think in a week's time we'll be done with breast feeding. On the one hand, Yay us for keeping it up for so long after all the early misery, on the other hand, boo hoo for the loss of that physical relationship. I have too much to say on this to keep it to one paragraph, I'll try to write it another time.

In stopping pumping I've lost a couple of my opportunities to blog and comment. I no longer sit in bed in the middle of the night, with my lovely mac to keep me company, bottles attached to my boobs. I do miss that time, a bit. Well, I do and I don't. I wish I had not had to pump. I'm glad I did pump. I'm glad I had the internets to keep me going while I did. I miss the time I had to myself when I pumped while Pob and H slept. It was good and it was bad. It was.

Comments

[Girl Detective]

Our Inglesina Zippy was foldable with one hand. Also, for when she's older, I swear by our GoGoKidz wheeled attachment for our Britax Roundabout, if it has a UK equivalent. That way you can take the car seat and have wheels in the airport but not schlep a stroller.

[katty]

Just to say that I bought a Maclaren Techno and it is really good. The pull down rain cover is very useful, and the seat seems to be both comfortable and secure. My babies like it anyway. I also have the maclaren quest but it's not as sturdy and not as good. Also the techno is very easy to put down and it looks absolutely fine, in my view. Go for the Techno, and put the money saved into POBs piggy bank...
I'd like to hear about your new nanny!

[Kath]

Dear Thalia, it is good to hear from you. I was hoping you were already en route with Pob and your mum, rather than still being dicked over by BT, but so much for that hope. I'm so sorry.

I took back my Medela three days ago. It felt -- and feels -- like the end of an era. And with the end of pumping and with the introduction of solids, my supply is tanking now too. And it's making me wistful -- oh heck, it's making me very sad.

Take care, my dear, and don't let the BasTards get you down.

[Aurelia]

Girl Detective sounds like she has a good idea...I knew some people who had a combo carseat/stroller on a trip to Europe and it was absolutely the best thing ever. This particular one is no longer made, but her suggestion sounds good.

As for breastfeeding? Hon, you made it a heck of a lot longer than I ever thought you would. I'm so so proud of you!

See if you can keep some of the frozen stash around in case she gets sick. She will get colds, gastros, etc., it's perfectly normal, but having that will be nice a reassuring.

Tell us about your nanny!

[Flicka]

I'm glad your internet connection is abck though I'm sorry it took so much time and effort on your part to restore it. Why are service people so sadistic when it's something that really keeps you going?

I hope you have a lovely time in Italy and that your nanny turns out to be the most wonderful human being you've ever known. I'm sad for you at the end of breastfeeding; I know that means a lot to you. There doesn't seem to be anything adequate to say about that...breastfeeding was fraught with difficulty for you both but I know that you loved being so connected. I'm hoping there are new ways you'll connect once you've stopped breastfeeding that will help ease that loss.

xx

[statia]

I don't know how you dealt without having a connection so long. I'd have probably spontaneously combusted. I look forward to my nighttime trainwreck gossip blog surf before bed.

[Christy]

My husband says I'm a stroller addict. We had a graco infant snugrider car seat and a snugrider frame stroller. So the stroller is really light weight and the car seat acts as her stroller seat.

But I also have a maclaren triumph and love it, don't like that it doesn't have cup holders and hard to get into the storage basket below and the sun shade isn't very good. But really light weight and compacts easy. This goes to the mall or when I have just one kid.

I also love our peg perego pliko p3, can take the infant car seat, reclines fully, cup holder, big basket below, and the sun canopy goes completely over for full sun protection or for sleep. I always take the pliko p3 when we travel and when I have both kids. I love this stroller.

I really could go on, I also have the gogo kids wheelzs for our britax marathon but, it can be hard to put on at times and you have to take it off when you are on the plane, and then put it back on again when you leave and it doesn't fit down the isle of most planes. Its a good idea but hard when you are trying to manage a baby, carry ons, and everything else you have to take with you.

Good luck and I'm sure you will find something for your trip, have a great time in Italy!!!

[MsPrufrock]

Note to self: Stay away from BT internet services.

Good to hear from you again. Sorry that the pumping has stopped, but then again, it's such a relief when it is done with. I say that after doing it a fraction of the time that you did.

Enjoy your trip! I am very jealous.

[Nico]

I had a bit of a hard time too when my supply decreased and pumping just wasn't worth it anymore. But the nostalgia didn't last too long - and there are so many fun things coming that will take the place of that breastfeeding connection. Your first hug and kiss, for example. When she calls you Mama or Mommy for the first time. And every time thereafter.

And I SO hope that the universe cooperates and you'll be announcing Pob's sibling in no time.

[Carla Hinkle]

It is difficult to get here in the States but I long for the Quinny that I have seen in Europe -- doesn't it fold down to about the size of a safety pin???

[perceval]

I have a techno xlr, had a techno classic before. very happy with it - nippy, folds well, comfy.

[Tinker]

We flew from Canada to Germany when little R was six months for both business and a family visit. Because we were staying in hotels as well as with family we had to drag an insane amount of equipment with us. Little R had more luggage than we two adults combined! We took our Phil and Ted's stroller and the bulk wasn't actually an issue -- on one leg we checked it with our luggage and on another we checked it at the gate. Taking it to the gate was actually far simpler, and valuable for the entertainment it provided watching the security staff try to figure out how it worked at the scan point.

Your pumping story is very apropos here. I'm in the midst of weaning and plan to be down to two sessions on Thursday with full weaning by the end of the month. The babies are adjusting absolutely fine, but I'm not feeling ready to let it go just yet.

And BT sucks.

[pixi]

I stopped nursing a few weeks ago, and yeah, even though I was really ready, I still experienced quite an emotional crash. I'm sure part of it was hormonal. It was rough going for a little while.

But...I've been working on providing alternate sources of comfort (mostly hugging, back patting, and lots of silliness) and that's been nice. I still have wistful moments, of course, but it gets easier every day.

[Bea]

I think you made an inspiring effort.

I guess, even under the best of circumstances, it was bound to end eventually.

Bea

[OvaGirl]

Welcome back Thalia. And bye bye breastfeeding but as you say, Yay to you for going as long as you did. I found the breastfeeding didn't stop immediately even though I thought it would, there were tiny little night feeds everynow and then and then finally nada.

You sound so busy...

[Betty M]

Glad you are back - what a total nightmare with BT. Sad to say none of the others seem much better if you want to change.

I too crave a Bee as my Techno XT is coming to the end of its useful life which after 4 1/2 years hard use on planes/trains/buses and tubes isn't bad. But why don't they invest in some people who understand colour? I stuck Z in a Bee in John Lewis the other day and at 18 months he looks like he is too big for it already as his head was right in the folds of the hood so it wont be a long term buggy if you succumb. I have also had a Triumph which was pretty good for airports. I think this time I would go up to a Quest as it is slightly more substantial. (As I also have a Frog you can see that I have a bit of a buggy "issue").

Sorry about the end of b-feeding but you did so damn well. I would have given up way before you in the same circs - so I totally agree yay you.

[beagle]

Dealing with customer "service" of any kind is such a trial. Glad you're back online.

Enjoy your Italian getaway . . . sounds very nice.

[Kay/Hanazono]

Glad to have you back and posting. And glad that you found a nanny! Hope to hear more about her in the coming posts.

Good luck with the training course and have a wonderful holiday :) xx

[silene]

It sounds like things are moving along for you - glad you found a nanny, good luck returning to work (I only work 3 days but it was still a shock to the system...) Not breastfeeding anymore sounds sad but also the right thing for you. It's amazing how you managed to get to this point - almost 7 full months!! A well-deserved pat on the back to you.

We took the Kitten away for a weekend two weeks ago and I have only just recovered. My Gawd, the amount of stuff I needed to bring for her was overwhelming. I'm lucky I remembered to bring my own underwear... We're staying with my parents for Passover and I'm already having anxiety attacks over having to pack again. In any event, we brought our BabyJogger City Mini stroller - true one-hand fold but still sturdy feeling, not too expensive, etc., checked it at the gate (note: buy and use a cover if you're obsessive about keeping it totally pristine, like my husband apparently is.) Not sure you can get it over there but I'd recommend it. Good luck with the travel!

[Geohde]

Glad to hear you're back in the net access game. It's horrible without it, isn't it?

J

[Vivien]

Have you ever read 'A Passage to India'? Full of the cultural differences between the British and the Indians - the British believe in a kind of absolute truth, and value it highly. The Indians are more inclined to say what you want to hear, to keep you happy, as they value a friendly, companiable situation. Bet your BT call centre is based in Delhi! (If they're not Indians they are certainly cowboys! Also hate BT).

[Antigone]

Now we need to find something else to keep you still and in need of occupation. Hmm...how's the internet connection in your WC?

[lucky2]

You should be proud of how long you did BF considering the problems you had at the beginning. Good job, mommy!

As for the physical connection, I didn't really feel as if I lost it when it came down to stop BF. WIth DD being more active, it just took on a different form (play, reading, cuddling, etc).

[MoMo]

Congratulations on finding a nanny! And give yourself a lot of credit for doing BF for as long as you did--it is not easy and you did a fantastic job!!

[Lut C.]

A round of applause for your accomplishments in breastfeeding!

I'm getting ready to quit altogether as well. Had wanted to continue another month, but with just two feeds a day, my supply has dropped to pitifully low.

Good luck with starting work again and the travels!!!