Happiness...

I've resolved to, at a minimum, alternate nightmare feeding posts with other stuff about Pob. So here's a happy post. I'm ignoring the fact we've both got thrush, you understand. But today is about Pob starting to express herself.

She's smiling. Not that often, but she is smiling. A full-on full-face smile. Her whole face lights up. It really made me cry when she did it for the first time on Friday morning. I hadn't realised what a difference it would make to how I was feeling, but it did. She became more wonderful, more of a person, than I had recognised before. She also now makes even more faces in her sleep than she was doing. She frowns, then smiles, often with my nipple still in her mouth, it's quite the adorable.

Her frown is particularly sweet. She does it almost every time something new comes into view. It's very much as if she's contemplating what to do with this new thing, what it means to her world. Like her daddy, she has strong eyebrows so the frown is quite well-defined. The frown is often accompanied by a squint as she tries to focus on this new thing - which could be a toy, or could be one of our faces, or could be her own face in the mirror. Whatever it is, it's worth a frown as she decides if it's something she's prepared to tolerate or not.

She's almost always inconsolable when she has her nappy changed. Hates it. And now she's bigger she cries properly, her cheeks get wet, it's awfully upsetting. But then we put her down near the boob, and she immediately stops crying and starts cooing at the boob, bobbing her head around to try and get it in her mouth. If it takes too long she'll start crying again, but the cooing is very sweet, it's like she's having a chat with the nipple to try and entice it closer to her.

I do love her with a fiery passion. Feeding be damned, she's a wonderful person already, and she's barely started being one.

Comments

[Aurelia]

Ooooo, that smile with a nipple half in and half out is awfully cute, isn't it? Like haha Mom I'm playing with my food! Soooo, any more pictures possible?

I sympathize about the thrush, I had it several times, with both kids. Between the gentian violet and the flucozanole, bah! I actually had this crazy woman at a grocery store accuse me of feeding my newborn baby purple popsicles because she saw the medicine stains on his mouth. *Eyeroll*

And all that equipment washing and sterilizing...oh hon, yeesh, please tell me you hired someone to help with housework and cleaning?

Anyway, if you get the right meds, you can get cured pretty darn quick,and that might help the feeding and changing difficulties too. I'm very very glad you are trying to look on the bright side of the baby fence.

[Suz]

This is so lovely to hear! It's clear how much in love you are with the POB.

[Vivien]

So nice to get a post that really does sound happy. So pleased for you. Isn't it amazing how babies DO this? Wow - I am soooo jealous!

[Flicka]

Jana Wolf writes: "I think we say we love our children because we are afraid to say that we are *in* love with them." I'm so glad you have little Pob to be in love with. She sounds absolutely adorable.

[Carrie]

It will be so lovely to watch her grow. Each little change a step towards the person she will eventually be.

I am so glad you are enjoying being a mum.

[Beth]

Oh no, not thrush! You have my sympathies.

Yes, it really is an amazing difference once they begin to smile, isn't it?

[pixi]

We had thrush, too. We used Nystatin for two months, but it didn't work. Two treatments of gentian violet did. Ask Moxie has at least a couple of posts about thrush.

I never doubted your happiness. Mothering a newborn is damn hard, but it's also damn wonderful. And,the smiles are a great gift, aren't they?

[Meredith]

With nearly 8 months of experience behind me, I can say that it only gets better and better. I found those first couple of months with my colicky baby to be totally exhausting. I love him and held him and took care of him because I loved him, but I didn't find those days to be happy ones. More ones that were full of the rote duties of love. But then, as he started developing his little personality, I found that I was also IN love with him. Watching that little person emerge is amazingly fun. Oh, and nipple smiles are the best. Sorry about the thrush!!!!!

[Kristin]

I always loved the mouth movements and smiles they made when they were sleeping--dreaming of boobs!

You're lucky to get early smiles. My first waited till he was six weeks, and I was losing my mind with how tough it was.

[Tonya]

Those first smiles are the best! Especially in the middle of the night, even though you probably don't really want to be smiling and playing at that hour... ;)

I'm glad you are able to jot down the good memories, too, helps counterbalance the challenging times. It's nice to hear how you're doing (though I'm sorry it sounds like you're still treading through tough times in the feeding department).

[Nico]

Those first real smiles are SO precious! And as hard as it is to imagine, it does just keep getting better.

[cass]

MissM *still* sometimes has those conversations with the boob. So incredibly sweet.

[Kimmer]

Those first smiles almost make up for everything else you endure.

I'm so happy for you T, so sorry about the thrush though...

[beagle]

Pob sounds wonderful!
Sorry about the thrush.

[electriclady]

It's amazing how those first smiles come right about when you're ready to throw in the towel...and then suddenly it is ALL worth it.

[T]

Smiles are amazing. Every stage is so great - it really does just keep getting better.

Sorry about the thrush.