Sharp turns and no entry signs on the road

I started composing a post yesterday about how much better things were with the feeding. Sadly I went to the clinic today to get Pob weighed, and she is precisely - to the nearest 100gs - the same weight as she was 2 weeks ago. Since she was only on the 30th centile for weight to start off with, this isn't good. So all the progress we've made with feeding over the last 2 weeks seems to be for naught. Sheesh this is difficult!

What we've been doing: 

About 2 weeks ago now I was so tired of all the pumping (about 11 times a day) that given your advice and the advice of the maternity nurse we had, I decided to just go for it and stop pumping during the day, and just put all the milk into the baby. So we stopped doing top-ups after day time feeds, and just kept putting the baby on the breast whenever she said she was hungry. The first few days were very tough. I did try using the supplemental nursing system, but just couldn't get it to work. So it was just me and the baby. Given she was still producing wet and dirty nappies I did know intellectually that she was doing ok - or I thought I did. We continued to give her a bottle at night - as much as she could take - and I kept pumping after the evening feeds and the night time feeds. Then she started to sleep longer at night, up to 8 hours (I know, I am very very lucky) so I started to wake up to pump in the middle of the night to pump even while she was sleeping. I've been getting around 200 mls from 3 pumping sessions so felt that the supply issues weren't the issue any more.

The baby seemed fine. She is more alert after a feed now, she plays happily for up to 40 mins or so on her mat or chair after each feed, then says she's tired by starting to grizzle, she settles to sleep via rocking or singing or both, and sleeps for 1.5-2 hours until the next feed. She was producing at least 2 dirty nappies a day and plenty of wet ones, so there was no reason to think she wasn't getting enough to eat. So it was a real shock today to find out she hadn't gained at all.

The health visitor was concerned and told me we had to start adding more to each feed, via a bottle since she's already on the breast for an hour at each feed. I do know that her sucking etc isn't great, so I've been trying to tickle her etc to keep her awake, and take her off if she really falls asleep, sit her up etc. until her eyes are open again and I can put her back on. I think at least part of the issue therefore is that she just doesn't eat fast enough - clearly not the child of her mother! - so even in an hour she isn't getting quite enough. She's getting enough that she isn't upset and doesn't feel hungry, but not enough for her to be gaining in the way she should.

It's all rather depressing, just when things seemed to be going better! The thought of adding bottles back in is really depressing after gaining some time back in the day by not using them. But clearly we need to get more food into her, so that's what we'll do, at least for the next week. Wish us luck.

Comments

[serenity]

Thalia - I am sorry to her that the hurdles continue. What a struggle! Much luck and the hopes that the one bottle a day more gets Pob used to eating more and she'll start sucking quicker when she nurses.

Hang in there, hon.

[beagle]

It all sounds so stressful! I hope you get a system worked out soon. Good Luck with the new plan!

[Anna]

Wishing you all the luck. It's awful that BF can be such an uphill battle for some of us. Hang in there!

[Lynnette]

It sounds like you are doing all you can. I think BF is 2 steps forward, 1 step back, sometimes. I hope things work out. I pumped exclusively for 3 months and finally just gave up after one plugged duct, too many. I couldn't even hold the babies comfortably. You sound stronger than me. Good luck. The mantra I used when things got too bad, was "I just wanted a baby to feed, didn't matter what I fed." It relieved some pressure, if nothing else. Not that I'm trying to discourage you! On the contrary, I am in awe.

[Alex]

Oh, Thalia, I'm sorry (though truthfully, as frustrated as you sound, and I do empathize, I am sure POB is and will be fine). Between month 1 and 2 my DS stayed at 25% on length but dropped from 25% to around 10% on weight, and I was supplementing with formula but trying not to use too much of it -- which turned out to be a mistake in our case, obviously. Anyway, I started being quicker to add/offer formula in addition to breast and he picked right back up and has stayed at 25/25 ever since. All of which is just to say, don't worry about POB, the important thing is you ARE caring for her and you WILL find an approach that works for both of you (not necessarily the one that I found, but the one that is right for you and for her) and she will thrive...honestly.

[Artblog]

I had the exact same problem! In the first two weeks LaLa didn't put an ounce on so I added formula. My mother had the exact same problem and she has breasts the size of a watermelon and had several children, not enough milk either. Her mother too, my grandma. Sometimes, were just not born the cows others seem to develop into after giving birth! A bit like infertility eh, some are born fertile myrtles and others aren't!

Don't worry too much now, she'll put it on quickly enough and it wont affect her any, my daughters just fine :)

HUGS

[MoMo]

OH Thalia. Sorry to hear this. B was also a "slow weight gain" baby. Our doctor asked us to feed him every 2 hours for 3 days and he gained almost a pound during those 3 days! It was difficult..all I did was feed and pump and cry. Hang in there, things will get better, I promise.

[heleen]

All in all it sounds like you are gaining more confidence in what you are doing. Hope everything you do will pay of in more baby pounds...

[Vivien]

Good luck Thalia, it must be hard.

[Kay/Hanazono]

I wish I had something constructive to say (or even assvice). I'm sorry that the SNS isn't working. Hope things start to improve once you add the formula. Thinking of you. xx

[Summer]

This has to be so hard for you. I'm sorry things aren't better at the moment with the BF.

[Motel Manager]

Ack, that stinks! That's very similar to what happened to us - it is so depressing to go in for a weight check and find no movement (or movement in the wrong direction)! I hope that things improve.

In happier news, Pob is just gorgeous! She is obviously very smart, too, if she can already play contentedly for so long!

[Betty M]

Sorry about the weight gain issue. Are they using the new WHO breast fed baby growth charts yet? POB will shoot up the centiles on those. Z's weight gain was also really really slow and hovered under the 9th centile until 4 months. Various HVs declared concern but his neonatal consultant declared herself fine with it as long as over the weeks he stayed roughly in the same place a bit of stagnation week to week was fine. Now at 1 he is up to the 30th. You are right though it is really difficult but it will get better.

[PBfish]

Gah. This has been so hard for you. I'm sorry. Hang in there, sweetie. Hang in there.

[Krista Attwood]

Sorry things have been so hard, but glad to hear that you are really enjoying the little cutie. I find singing and the sling very helpful too. Might have to look into the musical lyrics.

[Aurelia]

Oh Thalia, I have to wonder if she perhaps lost a little weight at first after you tried the new system, and then she gained it back.

As in, it may look like she stayed the same, but she really is gaining now. Anyway, I hope she gains, and you can eventually go back to not doing the bottles.

[cass]

Oooh, I'm with Aurelia. That sounds entirely plausible, and somewhat comforting.

I'm sorry the BFing is so hard right now, though glad to hear that between the feedings she's more playful and alert - I hope it makes all the feeding challenges easier to bear, somehow.

Thinking of you, hon.

[soralis]

Sorry to hear about your struggles. Good luck!

[Shelley]

I could never make the SNS work either -- I'd just wind up in tears, drenched in formula, and ready to throw the whole soap-on-a-rope contraption out the window. Sounds like you're doing beautifully in really rough circumstances, though -- I admire your effort so much.

[cooler*doula]

Gah.

On the one hand, I do get the idea that weight gain is good....

But, if she's producing the requisite diapers, is alert and cheerful... The she's probably getting enough? I mean - hungry babies are pretty pissed most of the time, right?

The girl just has a metabolism we'd all kill for?

I had a friend whose baby didn't pack on the weight either, and they put her through all kinds of hoops. Turns out, he's just skinny. Not a failure to thrive issue at all... Some kids are like that...

[Hetty_Fauxvert]

Sorry for your stress about this ... my boys were desultory suckers, to say the least, so I know whereof you speak! We also did the thing where I would BF and then give them a bottle afterward, but truthfully, I think it just taught them that they'd be getting the bottle as soon as they let go of the boob! Which of course was not at all the lesson I was trying to teach them, and they eventually boycotted the boob altogether at about 4 mos. So my bit of assvice here is that perhaps you might think of giving a top-off bottle only at certain times of day -- maybe one first thing in the morning and one at night, or some such -- so that little Pob doesn't think that all she has to do is refuse the boob so she can get to the bottle that much sooner.

[Drowned Girl]

Odd she didn't gain much. Was it the same scales? Had she maybe filled her nappy just before the second weigh in?

[moo]

T~ hang in there! You are doing evreything you can. I admire your strength. xxMoo