My doctor specialises in being reassuring...

I'm in good shape for 30 weeks (30 weeks!!!). Blood pressure was 110/75, growth is fine (he found the heartbeat of the baby right away this time!), I feel ok apart from the heartburn, ankles have returned to close-to-normal. However, discussing labour today with the doctor he broke the news that they might want to induce me around 38.5-39 weeks. The reason is that in a 'normal' pregnancy the risks to the baby of being born NOW go down until you get to 37 weeks. They then stay flat until about 40w+10, then they start to rise again. However, in women my age and with my history, the flatness doesn't last as long. They aren't sure how long it lasts for, so it's not very scientific, but it is something they worry about. The 2 increased risks are that of pre-eclampsia, which they can monitor for easily, and placental abruption, which they can't and which apparently doesn't always show up as vaginal bleeding. Given his statement last time, that they just won't take any chances with me, it makes sense. BUT I really don't want to be induced, and 38 weeks is really really soon! Certainly puts paid to the idea of working right up to 38 weeks, I know I'll want a bit of time at home to nest etc. before the baby arrives.

If I'm lucky enough to get that time. I went to my ante-natal class today, and one woman had gone into labour this morning, at 32 weeks. She was on terbutaline, so they might be able to stop it, but it was a real wake-up call that (i) we might actually have a baby, and (ii) I might not get the time I want. The doctor's statements just confirmed this.

What they'll do is monitor me carefully. Every 2 weeks from now, then every week from about 35 weeks. They'll decide whether or not to induce based on how I'm feeling, how the baby is growing, any signs of pre-eclampsia or placental abruption, how the cervix is looking, the position of the baby etc. Apparently sometimes they start induction and the cervix just doesn't respond. Sounds like fun, no? Luckily I'm not in any way averse to epidurals as they are more common in induced labour because it comes on so strong when it does start.

I might only have 8 weeks left. It's really quite terrifying. It's not long, and we aren't ready, and I'm realising all the scary things about having a baby. Yes I know it will be wonderful and exciting and the best thing ever, but I do have moments of thinking, as I did this morning when I woke up early and spent a relaxed hour on the sofa, wow, I'll never get to sit here and just simply enjoy this cup of coffee again. There will be someone who needs me. A lot. Almost all the time. That's frightening. And wonderful. And a bit overwhelming. I don't know how it's going to feel, really. But I do know it's going to be more than I can possibly imagine.

Comments

[Jenn]

Eventually they take consistent naps and then you can have your coffee and read blogs :)

It is scary. I still think it's scary and my boys are almost a year old. But it's so wonderful too. And it gets better and better.

[daysgoby]

Pregnancy is such a funny time-stretcher - until the last few weeks, where you'd swear you could HEAR the minutes flying by....

I had a full placental abruption. It was NOT FUN.

Take care of yourself, darlin', and remember that anything not done before the babe gets here, can be done after.
(I promise! And the baby will never know!)

[beagle]

I'm glad you wrote that last paragraph. It's good to know I'm not alone. I've been hit with those things lately whenever I do something self indulgent like get a pedicure or bigger yet, go away for a week. Each and everyone of those freedoms has a melancholic "I wonder if this will be my last chance to do . . . this or that"

But the trade off will be so worthwhile and like others have said, the freedom comes back at some point, at least in increments.

[Kay/Hanazono]

Eight weeks?!? I'd better get knitting ;)

[May]

30 weeks!

It's always nice to read something where the realization that the pregnancy may not necessarily go full term is there. I went into preterm labor at 24w 4d. The next 12 weeks were full of hospitals, drugs, fear, and bedrest. I still compulsively grind my teeth together when people blithely assume their baby will be born within a day or two of their EDD. I wouldn't wish my fears on anyone, but... sheesh.

[Kristin]

What about stopping work at 36 weeks?

Relaxation will be possible after baby, but not usually while baby is around. Husbands and babysitters need be involved.

[Dooneybug]

I haven't commented in forever...just letting you know that I'm so happy for you! Like Jenn said, you'll get breaks here and there. And one day you'll be sitting on the couch again having that cup of coffee and your baby will be all grown. It's not really never again, just later. :)

[Frances]

Just wait until the babe is old enough to ask for a sip of (decaf!) coffee from your mug! Smacky is always grabbing my cup, and for me, sharing with him is far more enjoyable than sipping alone. 8 weeks isn't long...at all. Enjoy the time now, and try not to worry, because there's little you can do anyway. It sounds like your docs know what they're doing!

[marie-baguette]

I trust you will get fully informed about inducement. It is something I want to avoid at all costs. One of my friends ended up drugged up out of her mind because the drugs were not working (it is a common complaint) and the birth took forever. I read that it improves the chances of having to undergo a C section too. Maybe you should get a second opinion?

[PBfish]

Yipes! Enough with the labor horror stories, people!
Yay, 30 weeks! You're so close. :)

[Anna]

Yes, it will be the hardest job you'll ever love. But there are times when they sleep and ocassionally (maybe) take naps for 2.5 - 3 hours at a time. Maybe. The first time you see your daughter smile, it will melt your heart, and all the pain, grief, tears, injections, doctor visits will ALL be worth it. And then, the first time you hear her laugh... she will own you forever.

I am so happy and thrilled for you, Thalia and H, to embark on this woundrous journey of parenthood. You'll be just fine.

[My Reality]

Reassuring or not, your doctor is watching out for you and the baby. That is the best kind of doctor to have.

[elizabeth]

You're so close! I am excited for you and all that lies ahead...however it unfolds.

[Tinker]

I think you are more prepared than you realize. Yes, birth and life with baby will be all the things you mention, but they're also temporary. You're sure to find lots of joy in watching your little one become an independent individual -- it's an absolutely amazing process.

[tree town gal]

Yep, you are right - you have no idea how it's going to feel because you are going to be so head over heels in love, I bet, that you won't even miss those alone times (which you'll get again). And the time slips along so very quickly. Just try to enjoy every moment without packing-in too much. Sorry, I'm preaching. Just incredibly excited for you... and ok, an itty bitty envious. :}

[Sami]

There will be someone who needs me. A lot. Almost all the time. That's frightening. And wonderful. And a bit overwhelming. I don't know how it's going to feel, really. But I do know it's going to be more than I can possibly imagine. - Ditto what you said... seriously I swear I feel overwhelmed 90% of the time. The other 10% of the time I'm going - how the heck am I going to do this with all these dogs running around. However giving voice to that thought while anyone is within ear shot really would be a bad idea as then the nay sayers come out in full force.

I'm glad your doc is keeping an eye on you - that's a good thing.

[alchemilla]

I had our son when I was 39, at 38 weeks.

More in response to some of the other comments than to you Thalia, but I really changed my mind about induction once I got to about 37 weeks - I felt that the baby would be safer on the outside, and it really stopped mattering how he came out.

I did NCT classes also, and made a few lovely friends, but with hindsight - for me - the birthplan bit is just setting women up to fail.

My best friend had the perfect natural birth a while after me, and it's lovely for her - but a few months down the line it's totally immaterial how our babies got here. It reminds me of how I slogged my guts out to get a distinction on my MSc and no employer has ever cared what grade I got, merely that I had one. Yes, it's a source of occasional internal satisfaction to me, but was it worth the year of privation, hardly seeing my husband, not making many friends at college? Meh.

Yes, labour hurts and however it happens, some bits of you are going to take a hammering. Remember, everything heals, and you and H will be utterly taken up with the miracle that is your daughter.

Again, with hindsight, labour was not such a big deal, but before I had our son I couldn't possibly imagine just how very huge his impact would be and therefore how unimportant it would make the birth. Before it, however, the birth was all I could think about, understandbly so.

Sorry for wittering on. I am so happy for you and H, and I wish you a boringly uneventful 8 weeks.

xxx

[caroline]

I think you summed it up all very nicely in your last paragraph! Just remember that there will still be the occasional morning with coffee on the couch - you just will be missing her until she comes back in the room! Let the eight week count down commence!

[perceval]

One-handed typing is a much undervalued skill :)

You might want to take a peek at the NICE C/S guidelines, by the way. I had a C/S because of the risk of vaginal delivery, and they timed it at 39+2.

[perceval]

One-handed typing is a much undervalued skill :)

You might want to take a peek at the NICE C/S guidelines, by the way. I had a C/S because of the risk of vaginal delivery, and they timed it at 39+2.

[Betty M]

I was in a roughly similar position to you. I knew induction was always on the cards at around 38 weeks if not before and my aim was to avoid it for as long as possible. In the end the pre-e did for me and so induction it was. It wasn't so bad. I did have an epidural in the end as the contractions started immediately and strongly and the whole process went on a bit but I still got the no instruments/no stitches delivery I wanted. I was helped by being induced on the delivery suite at the insistence of my docs (and to the annoyance of the midwives)and not on the ante-natal ward so avoided the common cessation of labour when they move you from one to the other. The diamorphine in the middle of the night helped too. 2nd time around I avoided induction thanks to Z deciding he was coming early anyway. A no induction, no epidural birth was easier and quicker but in the end all that matters is a healthy baby out safely to be with you.

And you can relax after. They do sleep and I have found you can b/feed and read/comment on blogs with no problems. One on one time awake with your partner is however another matter. But you'll be fine - promise!

[bugsy]

Oh I so resemble your remarks. I am finding it hard to believe that we will have a baby soon. Glad they are keeping a very close eye on you. Let's just tell ourselves that everything will be okay and I will take your pain if you take mine. lol Take care hun

[Brenda]

So glad everything is going well for you.. and the passenger. I stopped work before my c-section (he was breech) and I am so glad I did. It gave me some time to get last minute things done and some time to just pamper myself. I am so glad I did it that way! They also had similar reasons to induce me early (although ended up being early section) and in a weird way I was relieved to know the baby was soon and it lowere my risks... even if i was scared of a scheduled induction.

And as far as fears of having the baby, I totally had them. But then I thought, there are a lot of idiots that have children out there and they seem to manage. I feel like I am smarter than the average bird so surely I will do ok. Hell, if Britney Spears can do it, so can I! :)

[Jennifer]

You will do great! I am so happy for you, Thalia.

Just remember - it gets easier at 6 weeks, then at 12 weeks it gets much easier. When in doubt, check askmoxie and kellymom.

[electriclady]

30 weeks!!! So happy for you. Hope baby comes on her own at a magnificently appropriate time.

"I don't know how it's going to feel, really. But I do know it's going to be more than I can possibly imagine."
Yep. Harder. Better. Bigger. More amazing. More everything.

[Sarah]

sounds like you're getting fantastic care and are walking into the future (labor and parenthood) with a good sense (as much as possible anyway) of what lies ahead. these scary thoughts are how we prepare ourselves for the big changes (somehow that sounds condescending and i don't mean it that way but am too pregnancy-dumb to think of a better way to say it right now). CRAZY how suddenly this turning point has appeared, it still seems so unreal to me...

[Lut C.]

Scary and wonderful, that about sums up the way I feel.

I understand you wouldn't be keen on an induction. I'm not keen on one either.
I'm sure if it comes to that, you'll manage.

[pixi]

I nodded about 100 times reading your last paragraph. It'll be great, though. And you're going to be great, I know it!

[katty]

thirty weeks. gosh thalia. very well done. you will be a mother soon.
and can i say... the pedicure? the time alone in the cafe?
you won't even want it. i, like you, yearned and yearned for children and now i have them they are everything i could have dreamed of and more. i don't miss my old life, i fought for this new life, and it is the life i want. the miracle of babies. the great love of being a mother.

[annmarie]

30 weeks!!! Oh my God!!! Fantastic. Just fantastic.

[heleen]

You'll never be ready for this.

[kristi]

Thalia, wow, where has the time gone? 30 weeks already, and perhaps only 8 left to go. One thing you should know: no matter how prepared you are, or how organized, or how well-rested, you will never be ready for what's about to happen to you.

[Lainey-Paney]

Went into labor 34 weeks but they stopped it. bedrest for 5 weeks.
Induced at 39 weeks. This baby who was soooo insistent about his birth being at 34 weeks...suddenly changed his mind & was NOT going to be born willingly at 39 weeks. But then he was here....and just perfect.

And when you're little one gets here, you are going to be just so in love. Your new self-indulgent activities may be to just sit & gaze at him/her for a while...

:)

[Bugsy]

Is it okay if I nod a lot? I am now 35 weeks and freaking out that "any time soon" I could have this baby. I am talking to the OB tomorrow about monitoring, etc as I am scared this baby is going to be huge with me having diabetes, and I would like to find out how big this bub is before it is trying to get it's shoulders out of me. OMG we are going to be mums soon! Scary huh.