Back to semi-normal

I'm doing a good poor white trash impression right now. I did yoga this morning and haven't changed yet, so I've got on grey track suit bottoms, a black sports bra and a black maternity vest. The vest is rather grubby, since I've just finished making a batch of cookies for a picnic and concert we are going to this evening. My hair is tied back but isn't really long enough to stay there, so there are wisps hanging around my forehead and I'm sure there's a bit of cookie batter in there somewhere. When I've got up the energy I'll go and have a shower. For now it's good to sit down.

I'm so glad to be home. My feet and legs are much less swollen today, although they're still not back to normal size, so at least some of the problem was the altitude. I'm typing this on our lovely new machine. H cooked my favourite dinner last night to welcome me home, which somewhat made up for the 7 hours worth of travel I had to endure. I found a Penny Vincenzi novel I'd never read before at Munich airport, so that lifted my mood somewhat, although by the time I got home I was too tired to take in anything much. Must.slow.down. I have 4 episodes of Veronica Mars on the sky box to watch. The passenger is nice and active. I'm trying not to think about the few people at work who are screwing with me. And I'm ignoring that H only got part way through cleaning out the potential passenger's room - the bunk beds (left behind by the previous owners of our house) he dismantled are now sitting in our living room. But I'm pretending I can't see them. I'm doing ok. We're doing ok.

Aurelia, re your question on baby registries, we don't do them here, it's considered incredibly inappropriate to ask for something for the baby, so you just get what you're given. We also don't have such a thing as a baby shower, which believe me, while I was struggling to achieve pregnancy seemed an extraordinarily good thing. Both in the Jewish tradition, and in the UK in general, people don't tend to buy you anything for the baby before he or she arrives, but they send small gifts afterwards (a babygro, a soft toy, a bath towel, flowers, etc.). H's parents are buying us a car seat, and my mother is buying us a pram, other than that, we'll get the few essentials nearer the time, which from my understanding are:

• A few babygros
• A few vests
• A swaddling blanket or 2
• A moses basket (will prob inherit one from SIL)
• A few sheets for above
• A breast pump and accoutrements
• Nipple cream
• A few nappies and accoutrements (cream, wipes etc.)
• A changing mat or two
• Some muslins
• A couple of bath towels
• A sling?

As one good friend said, most of what we need immediately could be bought on the way home from the hospital, so I'm not too worried. Although I'd like the house to be a bit more sorted before hand (the basement laundry is still leaking when it rains. Which it's done a lot recently. Plus the whole 'living room full of bits of furniture' thing). But I'm not too bothered. I just want to relax and enjoy this stage a bit, enjoy the fact that it's just 1 more week to 30 weeks, and things start feeling safer then. Or so I assume.

Comments

[daysgoby]

I love hearing about the passenger, although Mumma is beginning to sound a bit worn out!

Let's see - will the Bunk Bed Fairy come and whisk those away for you?

Most women's shelters or Goodwill will pick things up, if you want to donate them.

[Kath]

Dear Thalia, welcome home! I'm glad you're being good to yourself today. Yes, things are getting a bit more difficult, aren't they? You should have seen me at the hardware store just now...

The way they handle baby things here in Germany are just the same as in the UK. By and large, I think it's preferable...

[Spanglish]

No Baby Showers?? I'm jealous. I hate the tradition.

[Nico]

I'm glad you're feeling better, and that your passenger is safe and happy.

I highly recommend getting an exercise ball, you know, those ones that people use for ab work and that kind of thing? It was suggested to my sister and me by our cousin, and both of us (and everyone we've subsequently passed the recommendation on to) found it to be fantastic for soothing the baby. The bouncing up and down motion calms them almost immediately. We called it "the magic ball" because when nothing else worked, we could always count on some bouncing to do the trick.

[Bittermama]

Glad to hear of you getting in some R&R.

I like your minimalist list of baby goods. I would recommend more than a few babygros. It's not at all unheard of for a wee newborn to poop or pee all over 3-4 of these in a single day and doing laundry every day is only feasible if there's someone else around to do it (and even then there are better things that someone else could be doing). You can easily skip the baby towels and washcloths and just use regular towels. A pack of waterproof pads is a good idea - they can work as very portable changing pads, mattress pads, whatever and are easily washable. Lots and lots of cloth diapers (I'm thinking that's what muslins are) are very handy for cleaning up all manner of bodily fluids. I'd also add some nursing pads for leaky breasts. And as for the sling, if you can get one now, do. The better ones usually have to be ordered via internet, so it can take a while to get to you.

You might actually enjoy the chance to get out to buy the rest after the passenger has arrived. Makes for a nice break from the house and you'll have a better sense for what you need then anyway.

I'm so excited for how close you're getting!!!

[MichelleL]

Happy to hear you are feeling better. It sounds like you have what is needed -- so much of the small baby equipment is just hype. I am sorry some people at work are being annoying -- but it never totally ends on that front, I'm afraid. Hang in there and thinking of you!

[Ann]

Couple of things:
1. You may want to get more than 2 swaddling blankets. Babies can soil those in no time. Get the extra big ones (40" by 40") for swaddling but stock up on the smaller ones for burp cloths etc. They're handy for anything and everything. Cassie plays peek a boo with them now, they're better than expensive toys.
2. Make sure you have a pretty high diaper changing area set up. You may find that your back is going to be sore and can't bend over properly after delivery.
3. Not sure if they have travel systems in the UK. But they allow you to lift the car seat bucket out and snap onto the stroller. Later on, when baby outgrows the bucket infant car seat, you can get a bigger car seat and use the stroller. It's handy to not have to lift a sleeping newborn out of the car seat onto a stroller. When they're little, they're very portable and sleep on the go.

I know this is unsolicited but I hope my comments helps. You are right, though. Relax for now, newborns don't need a lot. Take care.

[Tinker]

I think that not having baby showers is very pragmatic. I suppose that not buying too much before the baby arrives can be considered likewise on one level (especially if something goes wrong and the baby doesn't make it), but at the same time, what newborn mom has time to look for additional sleepers or shop for baby furniture?

[Aurelia]

Ahhhh, my apologies Thalia, I meant no offense. I did not know about the UK tradition. My BIL & SIL in the UK had their kids in Europe then moved to the UK.

Interestingly I knew about the Jewish tradition, but most of my Jewish friends DO have registries set up, so that everyone knows what they have picked out but it is only delivered after the baby is born so that the parents have it when they get home. The family will deliver some things to the hospital, if needed.

As one close friend said, "I love my mother, but I'd really like to pick out my own designs in baby furniture & strollers, and if I do nothing, It will all be there when I get home, and as generous as that is, there will be no going back."

I hope you at least get the chance to look at a few things and finish a list for your own use anyway. I agree with some of the suggestions above!

I'm sorry to hear about work. It is all about your mat. leave, or just the usual frustrations?

[Kay/Hanazono]

Glad the swelling has gone down and that you're almost through with travel for awhile. Those cookies look fabulous :) Hope you enjoyed them (and the concert)!
xx

[Jo in Utah]

I had to go google Babygro so I could know what in heaven's name those were! I feel so informed now. You probably will need to get more clothes and diapers,(I asked my son, new father to a 4 week old) and he says plan for 3 changes of clothes on a bad day of blow outs and leakage and up 10 nappy changes a day. Hope that helps. ( I am over the moon to be able to share that little bit with you)

[sylvia]

Suggestions:

- Bring some old but comfy socks (there will be some bleeding on your part) and you might need to change your socks.

- Bring your own maxi pads (the ones at my hospital were gargantuan and I'm grateful my friends suggested that I bring my own).

- Bring a donut or soft pillow to sit on; sorry but you will be in some pain down there in your nether regions (for a week or two).

- Chapstick (aka lip balm) -- your lips with get quite chapped during labor.

- Might I suggest that you purchase this baby wrap. I don't know what I would've done w/o it. You can carry a preemie w/ this wrap and I have yet to use my Baby Bjorn b/c baby's head was too weak and you couldn't get as close as you can w/ this wrap. They ship internationally from the States. For comfort, the regular Moby. For style, get the Moby D. I got both and I'm glad that I bought 2 b/c I use them that much. Mobywrap.com

- Lastly, make sure your hubby packs his bag too. Mine did one night before I gave birth (son came 10 days early). Don't forget change for vending machine snacks!

So excited for you!!!

-Sylvia

[artsweet]

I don't know nothing about no newborns: but I am so excited that you and passenger are getting closer!

[Katie]

Everyone I've spoken to says LOTS of muslins (that's what they use for burp cloths here, too). I have no idea why they are white, though. Surely brightly coloured muslins would be more practical.

[Sarah]

here's to feeling safer soon!

[T]

Pretending = good. He'll make up for it, like with dinner.

I absolutely despise registries, but I have to admit, it's much better to get things you like rather than some "other" thing aunt hilda picks out for you (how's that for grateful?).

30 weeks? wowweeeee!

[waiting line]

glad your legs are better (even if only somewhat).

30 weeks will feel much better - though, as you can imagine, the worry never goes away. blasted! :-)

[lucky#2]

Glad your legs have deswollen a bit...every bit of relief counts at this point.

I concur with the others...newborns really don't need anything but a place to sleep, a few blankets and nappies.

Your list is practical...you are definitely a girl of my heart!

So glad you are almost 30 weeks! WOW!

[beagle]

30 weeks . . . moving right along then! I'm taking notes from all comments here. Some great suggestions!

[Lut C.]

We don't have showers before the birth, but generally there is a party of sorts afterwards (baptism or alternative party).
We do have registries, mostly out of pragmatism, to avoid getting the same thing twice or more, and so the parents can pick the design they like.

Good to hear you're relaxing a bit.

[Betty M]

As usual with baby "essentials" it is a bit difficult to know what you will actually need. I stocked up on breast pads and never had a single day of leakage and on muslins but hardly used them (except in the kitchen for straining yoghurt) so have 2 unopened bags of 6 I think if you want them! I can recommend a Hotsling as an alt. to the Baby Bjorn. Babygros in quantity though were very useful. Yey to enjoying this bit!

[Jenn]

longtime reader de-lurking to second Sylvia's opinion on the moby wrap -- I now have two because I couldn't survive on laundry day when the first was in the wash. I have a Hotsling too which is also nice, but there's nothing like a moby for wrapping a newborn -- so soft and cuddly -- and it distributes the weight evenly over both shoulders so it's super comfy for mama too.

[isabel]

stuff I totally used:
Lilypads for leaky boobs.
bumbo: useful from around 3 months for taking baby to the shower room with me so I can shower whenever I want.
hand santizer for when we're out and about
mineral oil for removing cradle cap
baby thermometer (under arm)
three month's worth of frozen soup: 'nursing safe' (no beef, chili or cruciferous veggies)
changing pad (for restrooms without changing table)
receiving blankets (for covering changing pad as pad often touches gross restroom floor)
baby mittens (stops them scratching their face)
heated water sprayer for cleaning baby butt
nursing pillow: the shape really was an improvement over my regular pillows
nice wide and long shawl for discreet nursing

that's my assvice... stuff i never or very rarely used:
baby wipe warmer
crib
nursing pads
infant strollernever used baby bed gear: baby sleeps with us on the futon or on his futon in our tatami room.

our baby is an amazing eliminator: about 18 changes a day (cloth diapers here) but no real clothes changes (maybe 3 in four months). We use cotton.babies one.size at home and disposable out and about.

so excited for you by the way. actually I'm crying but it could be the sleep deprivation. i'm so damn happy for you, dude.

[Drew]

Hey Thalia - be sure you know how to work the breast pump before baby's born - I was so retarded that the day we came home from hospital I sat on the bed crying because I couldnt put my breastpump together (due to lack of sleep).

[Meredith]

I'm also for the minimalist approach. As it turns out, at four months old my baby has needed exactly the following: sleepers, diapers, a carseat, a sling, receiving blankets and a quilt to lie on the floor on. Also-- and this is the one thing I didn't expect to use-- he loves his swing for naps. But that's it. He sleeps with us, bathes with Mr. Pithy, and nurses, which certainly cuts down on the accessories.Of course, I do have four kakillion cute outfits for him, but I'd never claim necessity there.

[Linda]

I'm happy to hear that the folk on your side of the pond have more sense than we do when it comes to baby shower registries. I have always thought it very uncomfortable to register for presents and also to be told, "Oh, and the registry is at www.youbabystore.com." The choice to give a present, or not, and the choice of what to buy, are essentially dictated to us here in the US. It's really in bad taste on all levels. That being said, I'm sure you will have more things for the baby than you know what to do with. The future Grandparents always see to that. :-)