The alien inside me

The movements have been so strong that I thought it must be possible to see them. Sure enough, while she was having a real go at me on Saturday night I lifted up my t-shirt, and whomp there she was, my stomach moved. I couldn't help keeping on looking whenever the kicks or punches felt particularly strong. So far pretty much every quadrant of my bump has been observed to move. Very odd but very wonderful.

She's not always that cooperative. Sometimes she doesn't move in a way I can feel for hours and I really really freak out. I've even poked her to try and get her moving. Doesn't work. I've eaten sweets to try and get her to move. Also doesn't work that well. If she isn't in the moving mindset she doesn't move. Or, more likely, she gets herself in a position where I can't feel it. But it's scary nonetheless. I do know that I feel her more at weekends, so either she moves more when I'm more relaxed, or I am just more conscious of the movements when I'm relaxed. I've also been massively stressed at work, so that probably doesn't help. It certainly helps me freak out that I've killed the baby because I'm too stressed. Melodramatic, much?

It's started to feel really really real. That we might have a baby. I know I keep saying that, perhaps at each stage it just becomes a bit more real. Well, right now it feels real enough to talk about names, and maternity leave, and how to clean out the room that will be the passenger's when she arrives, without me freaking out every 10 minutes. Please let it be when, and not if.

Comments

[Urban Chick]

oh, it's as wonderful to read about you experiencing all this as it is for you to experience it, i fancy!

i want to be pregnant again...!

♥
UC

[OvaGirl]

Crikey, look what you did to urban chick!

The moving is fun but you're right, it can also be unsettling. And i think you do feel more when you're relaxed. Hang in there, it all sounds like it's going beautifully Thalia...

[Gil]

Thalia you are so blessed! What I wouldn't give to feel those movements! I'm sure it sounds surreal to talk about names, décor, mat leave and all the rest. But isn't it wonderful!? Enjoy it to the fullest. Enjoy it for all of us!

[Lori]

J was always yelling at me to stop poking my stomach. It was as if I was only satisfied if they were in constant motion which is of course not realistic. I was very stressed about movement and trying to figure out if I'd felt both babies - even on the day I went into labor. Sorry, but that stress may be with you right up until your laboring - at least it was for me. But it is the most amazing thing to feel your baby(ies) moving around in there. How I miss it.
So glad to see an update that all is well with you and the passenger.

[Suz]

Yes, when, when is awfully good. I'm happy for you, Thalia.

[Caro]

How wonderful, and weird.

[Jen]

Oh, those thumps are delicious, aren't they? So glad all is well with you both, and I hope the next few weeks go swiftly and smoothly.

[Karen]

That's so nifty! I can't wait for my pregnancy to seem real, but I don't actually believe it ever WILL feel real!

[serenity]

A girlfriend once told me that watching her belly move when the baby was rolling around was her favorite hobby when she was pregnant. She called it "Baby TV."

I think it's fantastic that it's seeming more real to you. After all you've been through, you deserve it.

xx

[Anna]

How wonderful to see your daughter move about inside of you! THat was our favorite entertainment, too: retiring to bed to watch "The Bee Show."

Even with all that, it seemed like it only REALLY became real once the contractions started. Yes, let's all put our positive energy on when, when, WHEN!!! I'm just tickled pink for you and H. :)

[Leggy]

I hear you on the freaking out thing when they don't move. Between the two of them, I get enough movement, but its hard sometimes to feel Baby A. Or I feel a movement and I'm not sure if its Baby A or Baby B. And just when I'm absolutely freaked, Baby A finally gives me a good kick.

Its so wonderful to read all this, particularly given where things were for you last Summer/Fall.

[Brenda]

I am so happy that you are feeling the movements. I still find it very surreal and my passenger is big enough now it feels like he is trying to bust out. I am so guilty of poking around when I haven't felt him in a while... sometimes it works, most of the time it doesn't. I also feel him more when I am at home and relaxed. My doc explained it to me that all the movement throughout the day sorta rocks them to sleep and it is when we get still and quiet they wake up... made enough sense to me that at least i didn't freak out... quite as much. ;)

[tree town gal]

I'm with Gil - enjoy every movement, every nuance for all of us. How I'd love to experience that again but thankful I got to make it that far once. Enjoy, enjoy... and take care, despite the work irritations.

[Kath]

Dear Thalia, how wonderful to read this. How wonderful to think "when", even if it's still interrupted occasionally by "ifs". How wonderful all this is -- and 101 days to go, according to your ticker. That's so little!

My passenger is the same way -- active when I'm relaxed. It's especially noticeable when I go to bed at night. The first minutes are all rumbling and rummaging.

[Sarah]

congratulations on things feeling more real! very exciting!!! do we get to hear how the name discussions unfold?

[Ms. Planner]

Thalia, you deserve all of this "real-ness." I am so happy for you.

[Lindsey]

Wow! That seems incredibly exciting! I have maybe felt a few flutters, but I'm waiting for the more obvious movements in a few weeks. And I can relate to the whole "this is getting more real" thing. I keep saying that over and over to myself. I'm glad you are feeling more confidence and the surreal fog is lifting into reality.

[Carol]

the movement is so great! and I'm like you - I get worried if I don't feel it for a few hours.

I can just sit and stare at my belly for a long time - it's so cool!

[silene]

I too get freaked out when there has been no discernible movement for what feels like forever - but then the party starts again and I am smiling like an idiot. I am so glad that you are able to start talking about the "real" part - hope the stress at work calms down some for you.

[Bittermama]

Look at you! And your ticker off to the side says you're almost under the 100 days to delivery mark. Holy moly!

[Aurelia]

Ooooo I loved this part. It was just the BEST.

One day when the passenger is really active, like at bedtime, roll on your side and put your stomach up against your husband's back, like spoons. Then wait for him to jump! The first time I did that to Mr.Cotta he yelped!

Okay, I'm officially in babylust again....where's one I can steal?

[caroline]

I am so happy that it is finally feeling real and that you can begin to plan a bit!! I just don't think I can type it enough - I am just so darn happy for you!!!

[PBfish]

Yeah, it's weird how great it feels to get kicked from the inside out. I used to balance a cup of tea on my stomach and Zach used to knock it off.
Good times...

[T]

Oh Good God - has to be when. Yay for feeling more real and feeling more comfortable. I know it's still scary and that sucks,but glad you're able to enjoy some bits too!

[artsweet]

Oh Thalia... I get so happy just reading this!

[Melissa]

Movements are the best. I love that time with me and the baby. Try to video tape it. I'm so happy I have that from my son's pregnancy. I meant to do it with my daughter's and forgot. :(

During the week when I was at work, I rarely noticed movements b/c I was so busy. I noticed it much more on the weekends when I was relaxing.

[Pamela Jeanne]

Sounds positively cool. Thanks for sharing, and for your sweet comment. Much appreciated, my dear.

[Overwhelmed!]

I'm so very happy for you Thalia. I'm glad your pregnancy is starting to feel real. You remain in my prayers!

[katty]

try a glass of very cold water to get her kicking. also loud cinema!

[teamwinks]

I just looked at your thing on the side. 100 days to go! It's really really happening!

How fun to feel her wiggle around in there. Lucky you!

[beagle]

It's hard to let go of the "if" when a pregnancy is this hard won. But we're all cheering for when, when, when! And I'm glad you are able to (most of the time) as well.

So, what sorts of names are you coming up with then??

Curious minds want to know!

[Kay/Hanazono]

So glad that all is going well :) I have every confidence that you are firmly in the land of "when" and not "if." xx

[kristi]

I loved reading this post, because I can feel the joy you're experiencing through your words.

And I can completely relate to the "when, not if" games our minds play with us. Your "when" is coming. It's time to believe it.

[Baby Lady]

Thalia,
So happy beyond belief for you (I'm a lurker!)
My doctor said drinking fruit juice and laying down on your left side will get the baby to move if you are thinking it's been too long!
Yayyyyyyy!

[Baby Lady]

BTW, I am not babylady of www.babylady.com. I just made up an url--but when I saw it hyperlinked, I followed it to see there is a real babylady!
Sorry, I didn't mean to steal anyone's identity!!

[statia]

The Mini was the opposite for me. He was lazy during the weekends, and I'd do the same thing, I'd poke to get him to move and he wasn't having it.

They know how to work you, even in utero.

[Tina]

Congratulations on your pregnancy...and a healthy one at that. I hope you continue to feel so great!

[Donna]

Hasn't that old myth about stress being harmful been dispelled? Of course, that wouldn't stop you from worrying anyway! I'm so happy we all get to share this with you, Thalia.

[Betty M]

Your post reminded me how much I miss being pregnant and having someone move and groove in my belly. Mine always were quiet at work (except during really dull meetings when they perked up) and then as soon as I hit the sofa or had a day off you couldn't stop them. Hows the name thing going?