Hope and learning in the fetal medicine unit

I'm back. I am still shedding brown blood. The fetus, however, is alive and well and moved around well, gave us quite a display. Heartbeat entirely normal. According to scan doc (the same one I saw 10 days ago), there is no sign of blood in the uterus, which is good because (i) as with anything at this stage, there's nothing they can do if there is, and (ii) blood in the uterus is quite terminal apparently. He said the placenta was well formed and large, there was the right amount of amniotic fluid, and that the fetus had grown appropriately. He thought that the blood did likely come from the edge of the placenta, since that's the most likely source, but it wasn't still bleeding and therefore he wasn' t worried.

Small aside. When you say "Brown blood," they say "oh good, it's old blood then, not to worry too much." Can someone explain to me why one shouldn't be worried about old blood? Because presumably old blood must have been new blood at some point, and forgive me if I'm wrong but any blood at all is not really what one is hoping for at any point in a pregnancy.

There is a certain extra-suckiness about this happening at 12w3d where you start to feel that you might get away without a miscarriage, no?

What this experience has taught me is that I'm a total wimp. Not really a surprise. But DinoD and Sami, I don't know how you cope with spotting/bleeding day after day, I really don't. This completely and utterly threw me, in a pregnancy where I really haven't bled at all, other than one spot at about 6 w or so. I've also learnt that our consultant is a sensitive guy, even if he did think I was panicking in an over-the-top kind of way (he didn't say this, but his tone of voice indicated it).

My least rational moment? Worry that I've caused this by pressing too hard with the doppler yesterday, trying to find the heartbeat. I've got a degree in this stuff, people, I know that it's all protected and half of it is behind the pubic bone, but why else would this start the day after I'd been searching for that heartbeat? (I found it, but only after much swishing around looking for it). I won't be doing that again in a hurry.

Or even more irrationally (and no, I don't really think this although I do sort of still believe the doppler one, even through I know it's nonsense), perhaps it's my come-uppance for enjoying a little weep in front of a soppy Greer Garson film yesterday, where her son dies, and she can't have another child, and then her husband dies, so she takes to looking after orphans and realises that that is where her calling is anyway.

Anyway, I've just been to the loo and there is still brown blood there. How I wish it would stop. I don't think I will breathe again until it does. But I've got 10 people coming for dinner so at some point I will just have to put a brave face on it.

Comments

[Kellie]

I am sending you every good wish for the bleeding to stop immediately and for you to have the rest of an utterly boring pregnancy.

[Betty M]

Phew. I agree that breathing will be impossible until it stops but take heart from the scan doc's comments and what you saw today.

[Brooklyn Girl]

I bled from pretty much 8 weeks to 14 weeks when I was pregnant with The Boy, and I was terrified the whole time (and, let's be honest, any time I used the ladies room thereafter). Ultimately, I was diagnosed with a subchorionic hemorrhage--has anyone mentioned that as a possibility?

I'm sorry that I can't remember if you're on heparin/lovenox or not, but that will exacerbate any type of bleeding.

[Krista]

As someone whose bled twice (once at 20 weeks and once at 22 weeks) I understand the terror.

And I also understand the frustration with being made to feel like you are overreacting because it is brown blood. Sure... except that you've told me that no bleeding in pregnancy is good and obviously brown blood didn't start out that way.

Anyway, both times I bled for 1.5 days (not heavily). Both times, it stopped on it's own. Both times the scan showed the baby was fine. And now, 4 weeks after the second bleed, baby still seems fine and is still moving around in there.

I won't tell you not to worry because I know you can't until it stops.

[Sami]

Remember - I'm a freak... we all know this. As for the doppler - seriously it was the only thing that has kept me sane. I spent 30 minutes plus trying to find the darn heartbeat - once I found it I spent another 15 minutes just listening and going - phew. Today heartbeat still there and wow do I press hard so press and search. I'm only just now calling my doctor and truthfully - I'm not in a drive an hour after working all night mood and my bigger question is do I need to get rhogam again? Since I had it 5 weeks ago I would think I'm safe, but heck I'm not an ob!

Here's hoping the brown spotting goes away quickly and that it never comes back. Good luck and chin up...

[DinoD]

I never really understood the "old blood" versus "new blood" thing either except that if you are bleeding heavily then the blood is likely to be "new" while a very small bleed will not show as quickly and so is more likely to be "old". It's depressing, the things you can become expert at.
Hang in there Thalia.
DinoD

[Sophie]

Sending fond thoughts your way from across the Atlantic Ocean. Fingers and toes are crossed, too. Like DinoD said, hang in there.

[Cricket]

Phshew, glad the little one checked out.

[luolin]

Well, if brown means it was old blood, then it was new back *before* you did the doppler, fwiw.

[Aurelia]

Sorry, trying to follow the sequence of events, but could the brown old blood coming out right now, just be from the same source as the red blood you saw at 6 weeks? And therefore nothing to worry about?
Maybe?
Anyway, I'm hoping you keep well, and I am definitely sure this had nothing to do with watching movies!

[Kristen]

A quick note of anecdotal reassurance: I had brown blood for about a month of my current pregnancy--weeks 6-10 or so. It was never copious, nor was it ever explained. Now I am over 37 weeks.

[Calliope]

phew- glad the appt went well & that everything checked out.
xo

[Feebee]

Phew! I'm relieved for you, have had experience of bleeding going both ways and know how terrifying it can be.

[Urban Chick]

phew

but sending ((hugs)) anyway

UC

[Ann E. Mouse]

I'm a former infertile - primary and secondary - (well, I'm still unable to get pregnant without help, but I'm not trying anymore!) Had the dreaded brownish-red discharge in my last two pregnancies (#2 and #3). Of course, nothing in #1 which resulted in adorable now-3-year-old so I was panicked. #2 started at 7 weeks - perfect heartbeat on scan but I decided to put myself on bedrest - miscarried about three days later. #3 started at 12 weeks - okay heartbeat on scan, decided to say f*** it to the bedrest since it didn't work the last time - and am holding adorable, healthy, perfect 17 week old on my lap right now. It's so scary, so annoying, and so unpredictable. I wish I had some magic guideline to give you - like, just make it to 13 weeks and you're guaranteed to go full-term and get a perfect newborn - but there is just no such thing. With #3, I had placenta previa so that was possibly a contributing factor...any chance of that in your case?

[Leggy]

Argh-I'm sorry that you had this scare, but glad all is well. I don't know about the brown vs. red thing either, but I guess the theory is that if it was red, it means its an active bleed. If its brown, then it was active at some point, but it wasn't enough to cause a problem and now its just finally shedding.
Re: the doppler- of course it didn't do anything but I hear you. I've had to work really hard this pregnancy to remind myself that nothing (medicines, exercise, doppler pressing, etc.) short of a fall of a horse or a bad car accident can "cause" a miscarriage. That's helped to keep me somewhat more sane.

[Ann E. Mouse]

I'm a former infertile - primary and secondary - (well, I'm still unable to get pregnant without help, but I'm not trying anymore!) Had the dreaded brownish-red discharge in my last two pregnancies (#2 and #3). Of course, nothing in #1 which resulted in adorable now-3-year-old so I was panicked. #2 started at 7 weeks - perfect heartbeat on scan but I decided to put myself on bedrest - miscarried about three days later. #3 started at 12 weeks - okay heartbeat on scan, decided to say f*** it to the bedrest since it didn't work the last time - and am holding adorable, healthy, perfect 17 week old on my lap right now. It's so scary, so annoying, and so unpredictable. I wish I had some magic guideline to give you - like, just make it to 13 weeks and you're guaranteed to go full-term and get a perfect newborn - but there is just no such thing. With #3, I had placenta previa so that was possibly a contributing factor...any chance of that in your case?

[PBfish]

Well thank God. I'm so glad you are okay. Hope the discharge stops soon.
Cute baby ticker by the way...

[Jen]

I'm so glad it was all okay. I'm also glad that your doc took your fears seriously, and gave you some reassurance. FWIW, I bled a lot throughout my pregnancy, and despite several freaked-out trips to the ER, everything turned out fine. But it is tremendously scary!

[Angela]

No advice or theories. Just relieved that everything is OK.

[niobe]

Putting on a brave face is not much fun. Hope your dinner is not too stressful.

[Kay/Hanazono]

What a relief! I'm so glad everything is fine :) Thanks so much for updating!

[tree town gal]

Okay, okay... good... it's all good. Infertiles always are panicked... right up to the day the baby is in arms... glad you got such an excellent show from your little one. Hope the spotting stops soon to ease your mind.

[anon]

I think that in addition to the "quantity" argument put forward by another commenter (more blood = less likely to be absorbed and more quickly expelled = red) there is the manner in which any blood, old or new, is expelled. Uterine cramping is more likely to expell the blood quickly, and the blood would then appear as red blood. And uterine cramping is not something one wants during early pregnancy. (It was not wanted, and not a good sign, in my early pregnancies.)
There is no rationale for my belief that this pregnancy will result in a baby for you, but there it is. I believe it will. And I am genuinely delighted.
And of course sympathetic to the scare.

[perceval]

What helped me at your stage was to force myself to get out of the house and function, otherwise I'd gone mad brooding. The next big landmarks for me were 26 and 30 weeks, because at least then there's a chance of the baby surviving. Until then, you need to take each day as it comes ...

Hang on in there!

[millie]

So glad all is well.

[silene]

So sorry you have had to endure this scare! Thinking happy thoughts for you.

[Watson]

Jeez, I can't imagine how scary that must have been...I'm so glad everything is checking out okay.

Sending you good thoughts and prayers!!

[Lut C.]

I'm so relieved!

[Anna]

So relieved for you... Goodness, how about no more scares for the rest of your pregnancy! I remember figuratively holding my breath for each milestone (13w, then the test results, 25w,.... it never stops). I wish you could just curl up with a good book tonight, but I hope you have a lovely time at your dinner partyand enjoy some good company. I'm so sorry for the scare, but I'm glad you and the little wee one are fine. : )

[Karen]

I had bleeding every day of my 12 week pregnancy last summer/fall and I've had bleeding nearly every day of my current pregnancy. I have my moments of panic, but for the most part, I know there's not a thing I can do about it, even if it does mean something's wrong, though there never really does seem to be a good reason for it. I frankly think it would be MUCH harder to deal with emotionally if it happened suddenly out of the blue, instead of steadily and constantly as it is for me.

I am glad that ultrasound didn't show anything wrong and that everything looks fine. I'm also terrifically happy that they were willing to bring you in for a scan so quickly. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

[Summer]

So glad for the good news. Hang in there, Thalia.

[Carol]

oh gosh, that is scary. But I have heard sooo many stories about this exact thing, with very good outcomes. It seems that, as scary as it is, some bleeding in pregnancy actually isn't all that uncommon. But I'm sure that doesn't help you feel any better about it!

[heleen]

Really awful to have to go through this. You don't have to put up a brave face though... I hope the bleeding stops soon.

[My Reality]

I am so happy to hear that all is well with the little one. I am sure it must be horrifying to see blood - no matter what colour.

[laura]

I always wondered that about the old vs. new blood too. Perhaps because if the blood is old, but the fetus is still okay, then it must have survived whatever issue there was????

I am so glad that there is no problem.

[Lori]

I'm so glad to hear all is well with the fetus despite the bleeding. It is so frightening to see blood of any color at any point in the pregnancy. I was terrified when I had a lot of bleeding at week 25 (which is what landed me on bedrest unfortunately). I thought for sure it was all over.
I hope you managed to get through the dinner party.

[Bea]

Yes, you're absolutely right - blood is blood. But perhaps if you're seeing fresh blood it says something about the *rate of bleeding* - rather than an ooze, which only reaches the outside world after much oxidising, it's flowing pinkly and freely and badnessly.

Of course, I'm just making this up...

Bea

[cathy]

Delurking for any reassurance I can offer, brown blood = like old process scabbing off as you grow internally. Growth sign, shedding of past events, scan that baby is fine and moving in there is what counts the most. Blessings on your journey.

[Drew]

Thalia it is difficult to see blood at any stage of the pregnancy. Red brown or otherwise. When I had my spotting early in the pregnancy my nurses consoled me that it is defninitely old blood - something to do with implantation of the foetus etc. I too have a friend who bled throughout her pregnancy - in her case it was bright red - but her baby boy came out fine. It was just one of those things doctors cannot exactly explain, or stop, but everything worked out for her. I really hope it is the same for you - at least it will give you a chance to have a enjoyable pregnancy - something you much deserve.

[SarahD]

Maybe the "oh good it's old blood" thing is that, if it isn't red, it isn't still and currently happening, so what ever it is, it's over. Glad to hear everything is still ok, though!

[Sparkle]

Happy that all is good.
I agree, I really don't know how people cope with the bleeding either.

[Shelley]

I don't know if all these stories are reassuring or not, but just in case -- I had copious brown blood too, and mine went on for weeks. All's well, she's downstairs babbling happily as she plays. I so hope things continue to go well for you!

[Samara]

I'm 15 1/2 weeks pregnant and I've been bleeding now for two straight months every single day (Brown Blood). I know exactly how you feel and I too wish it will stop. I've even prayed that God would somehow stop it having so much faith that He would but I'm am still currently bleeding. I find myself slipping into a state of Depression and I resent the baby daily because of the daily bleeding. Hopefully yours will stop and you won't have to continue to suffer, but know that there is someone here that relates to you.