After a late night last night (dinner at a noodle bar and Volver (quite good, not Almodovar's best but Penelope Cruz is outstanding and oh my goodness I just saw that she's only 32, damn her) with my brother), I woke up later than planned this morning. I wanted to make muffins before going to the 9am scan. I woke up at 8 and bizarrely decided to bake anyway, including doubling the recipe, which then made the prep period longer by needing to chop extra ginger. This meant that I'd only just put them in the oven at 0855. Of course I'd intended to take muffins to the clinic, having had a fabulous response to taking them cookies on Tuesday, but they simply weren't close to being ready so I thought that I'd rather be on time sans muffins, than half an hour late with them.
I therefore had to go off to the scan without H, who was given instructions about how to test for muffin done-ness - he doesn't bake, he cooks, so this was quite a bit responsibility. He also felt bad about not coming with me, and, I think, just a tad nervous as the pattern in our relationship is that he drives and I sit in the passenger seat, so I'm not sure he's that keen on letting me loose on his gearbox. But actually, despite not having driven for ages, I felt fine with it, and realised that I'm a total hypocrite as I usually give H a hard time for driving too fast, when actually I'm just as bad once I'm behind the wheel, if somewhat less aggressive about other drivers.
The shoes today were a very smart pair of black stilettos, again around 4 inches high. Although they weren't red, they were so high that I felt I had to comment. (And Kristin, she was wearing some very skinny jeans which surely mean she's lost the pregnancy weight. She's pretty bloody skinny...). I complimented her on her ability to be present on a Sunday morning in high heels, and she said: "Well, it's certainly an art learning to balance on them". Which didn't really give me any insight but at least it was a form of conversation about the shoes. If she's wearing the red ones again on Tuesday for retrieval, I'll ask her about them then. Because yes, we are on for Tuesday.
- On the right: 23, 17, 17, 17, 15, 14, 12 (plus about 3 around 8)
- On the left: 24, 21, 20, 18, 17, 14, 13 (plus about 2 around 8)
- Lining: 11.7
That makes nine possible (over 17mm) and and other three maybes (the 15 and 14s). So the Ovitrelle injection is at 22:30 tonight. If we ever have to do it again, remind me oh please remind me that I stim slowly but do seem to get there in the end.
When I got back around 0930, the muffins were out. Sadly some of them were a trifle singed at the edges, but H doesn't mind burnt bits. They are good, but I'd already cut the sugar somewhat and these were still way too sweet, so if you do make them, I'd suggest using no more than 2/3rds of the sugar suggested in the recipe. The ginger is what makes them delicious, so don't skip that. Or perhaps I had a challenge in translating from cups to grams (although I used Stephanie Alexander who is usually quite reliable). Why do Americans cook in cups? It's so bloody inaccurate for baking - how do I know how hard you tamped down the sugar or flour? And why measure a cup of butter unless it's melted? You are strange people indeed. I'm convinced that baking is my child substitute. I have the whole Jewish food=love thing (oh how I need to cure myself of this before inflicting it on any potential future daughters) plus baking is just so nurturing somehow. Perhaps I could segue the feeling of nurturing into the garden? Somehow it's not quite so satisfying.
I remain quite optimistic about this cycle. I know there is no real rhyme nor reason for this, it's based on the entirely unscientific fact that we got pregnant last time (and perhaps even had some implantation the first time, who knows, with that beta of five two days after I'd started bleeding). I've found myself planning for what happens with scans etc after a positive pregnancy test, telling people I don't want to fly too much in one potentially busy week at the end of September when I'd be one week post pregnancy test, thinking of how we'll feel on our fourth anniversary of meeting, on 27 September, if I'm pregnant at that point. I keep telling myself not to count my chickens, but idle dreaming leads me back to the optimistic space. I think I'm just going to have to live with it, it's not going away, and I'm not sure being pessimistic really offers that much protection against the misery of a negative in the end. Let's see how I feel (assuming we have two to put back, which is still not a definite) in those few days before the pregnancy test where, honestly, last time I KNEW I was pregnant, much as I wasn't admitting it. Those cramps and pullings I was feeling felt so different than anything I'd felt before.
Clearly, several weeks of madness are ahead of us, either way. To edify ourselves we are about to head off to see this exhibition, and have decided to take the river boat to get there since it's such a nice autumn day. I do like weekends.
I love Kandinsky. We don't get so many great exhibitions here in Australia ... a few make it down, but many come nowhere near us!
You're follicles sound like a great size for retreival - I hope it goes well. And I can't wait to hear the next shoe update.
And I'll have to start trawling your archives for your experiences of Zoladex - I'd never really looked into it until Dr Challenge suggested it and I'd like to hear about some 'lived' experiences as well.
Posted by: StellaNova | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 12:42
You ARE getting there! I am cheering those follicles from all the way across the ocean!
Oh, and our butter comes in sticks with tablespoon and cup markings on the wax wrapping so you know how much to cut off. Does yours not have that? Crazy Brits. What's up with the metric system? Why on earth would one wish to use something so logical and dull? (Oh, to measure shortening, you can also put water in a measuring cup to a certain level and then add the shortening until the water rises to the appropriate measurement so that by the difference you know you have the right amount. I'm not sure if that works with butter, though. It might float. Does it float? I have no idea.)
Posted by: Meredith | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 13:16
Nice work Thalia, I'm so glad to hear that things look so good at this point.
Good luck for Tuesday my love, I'll be cheering you on from this hemisphere.... x
Posted by: Meri-ann | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 13:46
Yay Thalia! I'm glad that the follicles are ready, and that retrieval is set.
I can totally relate to the dreamy state you describe. Even though I try my hardest to not think about "it", those pregnancy thoughts still creep up on my subconscious unwillingly. Hopefully that waiting period will go quickly for the both of us....
Yeah, I was about to explain about the butter, but Meredith beat me to it! Isn't it odd how Americans never adopted the metric system? I used to watch old programs of "Nigella Bites" and would get so confused about that (as well as the "gas marks" on British ovens-we don't have that, either), and then she was kind enough to have the conversions printed as she explained. Of course, my husband liked the show as well, due to her generous...uh.....well, you know. He said that she made the physical act of eating look like a porn movie. How true.
Hope all continues to go well for you!
Posted by: S | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 14:32
Ooohhh...Kandinsky's one of my favorites. What a great weekend you're having! Good luck with retrieval...
Posted by: Lynnette | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 14:34
Your follicles sound like they're in just the right place. I hope that the retrieval and fert go really well, and that your dreams come true this time. Enough screwing around, universe - this is Thalia's turn!!!
Baking in grams - or at least pounds and oz is SO much better than cup measures!
Posted by: Nico | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 15:29
Dear Thalia, that sounds good indeed. Easy did it. Now on to parts 225-to-infinity of what I'm wishing for you this cycle.
I think the "cooking/baking equals comfort" feeling is actually a good one to pass on to one's children. Ironically, most of the people I know who love to cook and bake don't have a huge eating problem -- probably because preparing something with love is a nurturing thing to do for yourself, whereas stuffing your face with crisps when frustrated (not that I know ANYONE who does that! NOOOOOO! Not me!) isn't.
I'm on the fence about the grams and cups question, because I think scooping out a cup of sugar is more fun than pouring everything fussily into a kitchen scale. You're right about the butter, but most cookbooks in the States talk about sticks of butter rather than cups, for the reason you mention. Anyway, I hate the whole bloody subject now, because I used to translate recipes for a living. Oh the contortions I had to go through to research how 250 grams of flour translated into cups, and how many teaspoons 10 grams of vanilla extract equaled... All I can say is, pass the Doritos.
I hope you had a glorious time at the exhibition! I still look back fondly on ours...
Posted by: Kath | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 15:59
That is super news about your follies! I'm glad your body knows what it's supposed to be doing, even if it's a bit slow. I hope retrieval goes just as well.
Posted by: Summer | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 16:19
Good luck on Tuesday. Tuesdays seem to be good days for you.
Posted by: statia | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 16:56
Great news re. your follicles. Good luck with the retrieval. I'll be sending positive wishes your way.
Posted by: Lisa | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 17:48
The follicles look good really good! I'm crossing my fingers for you on Tuesday!
Posted by: Suz | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 17:51
Things sounds really hopeful - no reason you shouldn't be as well - enjoy yourself and looking ahead to good things!
Posted by: elle | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 17:52
oh Thalia, all sounds great - your follies, lining, muffins (even if a little singed), your driving, the exhibition!! doc's shoes, however, are still slutty as hell and unbelievable to me. hey, but if it "works" and helps get you pregnant, why not?!
good luck on your retrieval of Tuesday. will be thinking of you.
Posted by: waiting line | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 18:20
I wanted to wish you well with this cycle. Your follies have done great!
As a North American cook/baker, I would like to know what kind of scale you use for your baking. I have 2, neither of which is very accurate. Is there a scale that is THE kitchen scale to use?
Posted by: My Reality | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 18:24
Given those follicles, I think it's OK to assume (I know we never assume, but still) you'll have two to put back.
Hopping on a boat to go to the Tate...I think Hub and I need to move to London.
PS- did you ever get that dal recipe? I've been thinking about it ever since you mentioned it.
-Thanks for your thoughtful comments at my place. Smooches.
Posted by: fisher queen | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 18:42
that's a mighty fine batch of follies you have cooked up, fingers crossed they give up equally fine eggs. wishing you every luck there is for Tuesday and the weeks ahead
Posted by: Jennie | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 18:47
Hello Thalia,
I am off away for a week, so I just wanted to wish you luck in advance. Your follicle haul sounds really excellent, so here's wishing you the best.
I didn't like Penelope Cruzs haircut, though she was lovely to look at. The film was engaging but not as good as talk to her, which was brilliant (and the music was wonderful). I got a bit annoyed by carmen maura gurning under the bed.
I am jealous about the muffins. Jealous you have muffins in your house. If I ever meet you, please bring me some baked goods and I will be forever loyal. My ex-boyfriend used to say in wonder how pathetically easy it was to please me through food.
The river boat is a delight, though slightly less delightful with morning sickness.
Anyway. GOOD LUCK THALIA. GOOD LUCK.
(I want to know if she takes off the shoes for the egg retrieval and other procedures that require precision (or do they sit down to do this?). Surely these would require balance. Could you find that out?).
Posted by: Katty | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 18:48
What a wonderful follicle count! Yeah, I officially have follicle envy. I'm really excited for your trigger and subsequent retrieval - I am keeping everything crossed for you - I am hoping beyond hope that everything is perfect and you have a wee one resulting from all this. GOOD LUCK to you and H! Try to relax (sorry) as much as you can, and enjoy the muffins! They sound wonderful! Fingers crossed.... xoxoxo
Posted by: Anna | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 20:44
On the muffins:
LOL, our butter sticks have markings on them too: 50gr, 100 gr, 150 gr, ...
I'll have to write to the producers to add cup markings too!
Ginger muffins sounds lovely, must try those.
On the cycle:
Progressing nicely, I'm very glad. If you're in a happy daze, all the better for you. You're absolutely right, guarding your emotions right now won't matter however this particular cycle goes.
I hope you're not too uncomfortable with all those follicles in there.
Posted by: Lut C. | Sunday, 03 September 2006 at 22:16
Good luck to you. I hope all goes well on Tuesday. You've got me really curious about why she wears those shoes.
Posted by: Leggy | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 00:40
Our butter has a label on the side that says how much equals a cup...so that it is easy to figure without having to melt it. I'm still a lousy baker :)
Best of luck my dear with your retreival. I'm thinking of you.
Posted by: susan | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 02:15
Looking good. Best of luck with ER!
Posted by: amanda | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 02:38
Thalia that follicle count sounds great. Can't wait to hear how the retrieval goes. And mmmm... I love muffins. Never make them thought. I'm more of an eater rather than a baker.
Posted by: Krista | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 02:52
Everything sounds great! I'll be checking in like crazy, hoping everything goes well for you this week.
Posted by: electriclady | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 03:34
Ha- your baking comment reminded me of one of my UK born professors who lectured us Americans to not call the Standard system of measurement the "English" system because the English were smart enough to use the metric system and we Americans were the only idiots still using the "English" system. By the way, I'm a Yank who far prefers baking by weight, not volume. And I'd prefer to do my calculations in metric, too... but I'm fighting a losing battle with my compatriots.
Good luck on Tuesday. Hope all goes well.
Posted by: Kris | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 04:37
Great follie count. Glad things are going well and you are remaining optimistic. Wishing you the best on Tuesday.
Posted by: Liz | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 06:07
Sounds like you're good to go! Wishing you the best for your retrieval Tuesday!
Posted by: chloe | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 06:27
Great result mate. Lots and lots of luck for you my dear! Woo hoo.
Those muffins sound delicious. I am going to give them a whirl, I love ginger. Mmmm mmm
Posted by: Betty | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 10:21
Can I defend baking in cups - it is a lot easier to get the cupmeasures out of the drawer than the whole bloomin' scale (though I have an easier scale now), and it doesn't make THAT much difference packing the sugar/flour slightly more or less. Also, using a flour sifter (I keep one in the flour tin) means you'll probably be just about right.
However if you are using UK plain flour to make a recipe calling for American all-purpose flour, you should fill the cup measure, shake it down and add a bit more - as the US flour has a little more gluten than the UK flour.
Yes, I'm bilingual in Cooking... American mother.
I know what you mean about "what if" - hmm.. perhaps I should make this a proper post...
Posted by: Katie | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 10:51
The follie count looks great! And it's great that you're feeling optimistic. I mean, why not? Good things DO happen all the time, why shouldn't they happen to you? I'm keeping my fingers crossed!
As to the baking measurements: Vikingboy and I go back and forth about this all the time. Grams or cups? Which is bizarre and which makes sense? Measuring in grams makes me feel like I'm doing science, not cooking. (The only places I've noticed metric consistently in use here in the US is in science, foreign car tools, and, oddly enough, soda bottles -- you can get one or two liter bottles of soda, but milk, juice, and water are all sold in quarts and gallons. Weird, huh?) But I guess it's what you get used to. I agree that metric makes more sense, but I think I'm too old and tired to learn to think in it. So I guess I'll always be translating...
Grams or not, ginger muffins sound AMAZING!
Posted by: Zee | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 14:04
I'm so glad to hear your follicles are looking so good. I'll be hoping for the best for tomorrow. You're right in that pessimism is not much of a protection against the pain so not much harm in being optimistic. I hope the optimism proves true for this cycle.
All this talk of muffins has me wanting to bake some of my own!
Posted by: Lori | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 14:52
Good luck, Thalia!
Posted by: Ann | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 15:44
Excellent follicle numbers, there. Good luck tomorrow, great hopes for you from the weirdo measuring u.s.
Posted by: Mary Scarlet | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 16:20
Hi Thalia,
Everything sounds great -- congrats on all the follies! I wish you all the best tomorrow and will be checking in on you.
Take care!
Posted by: Watson | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 18:14
Just thinking of you in anticipation for your upcoming retrieval. Everything is crossed... Best wishes and good luck!
Posted by: Anna | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 21:09
Good luck for tomorrow, my dear! I'll be thinking of you.
Posted by: Kath | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 22:07
:) Glad to hear your stimming finally did it's job! And that you've remained optimistic!
I hope tomorrow goes well.
Posted by: Sarah | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 22:25
Sending lots of good thoughts for those follicles tomorrow. I'm tremendously optimistic for you, as well! I'm also curious about what shoes you'll see tomorrow...
Posted by: Larisa | Monday, 04 September 2006 at 23:06
Your follies sound super. So many good ones!
As for we Americans and our baking, I'm with you on the scales and weighing ingredients. The first thing I learned in pastry school is all bakers weigh everything. (The second was that you must complete your mise en place before beginning). I don't trust any recipes calling for cups. I don't even like recipes that call for oz--it's gotta be grams for me. I convert any recipes to weights and all of my fave cookbooks have it that way. Baking is much more about science and chemistry and a good digital scale is worth it's weight in gold.
Wishing you all the luck in the world and thinking very good thoughts for you.
Posted by: millie | Tuesday, 05 September 2006 at 05:42
It's Tuesday-- I'm thinking of you!
Posted by: Katie | Tuesday, 05 September 2006 at 15:54