I've become addicted to reading the blogs of some amazing women over the last few months as my husband and I have gradually realised that getting pregnant wasn't going to happen as easily as it seems to have done for our friends and family. I am struggling to focus on anything else in my life right now, and am losing my sense of humour, and so thought that an inanimate diary might help. Hence this blog. A long time ago on irc (anyone remember irc?) I used the screen ID Thalia and thought of her again today as I registered for typepad. As the comic muse, I thought she was an appropriate guardian for this journey - to stop me from becoming morbid (hence not chosing Melpomene, the tragic muse!)
It's been nearly 10 months since we married and started trying to conceive (ttc). My husband had erecti*le dys*func*tion (see if that fools the spammers) which obviously doesn't make this any easier, but after 5 cycles of using drugs to help him, we are still not pregnant. I'm aware this is a lot less long than the time many others have taken, but it seems like an awfully long time to this 38-year-old that has always always looked forward to being a mother, despite my successful and stretching career. Every month I cry for the baby that I won't have - my baby with the June birthday I always wanted for myself, my baby with the bonfire night birthday and so on.
So 3 weeks ago we saw a specialist. He wasn't negative, he wasn't positive, he just pointed out, as I knew, that at 38 I wasn't in a position to take a long time over this. So I've had the hormones tested ("normal" but I don't know the numbers yet), and been scheduled for more tests over the next few weeks. And so this blog begins...
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