Thanks for the comments on Friday's post. I started to write a post and ended up writing that paragraph, then realised I really couldn't go on. A paracetamol from a colleague helped (paracetamol is ok, right?). And now I've had two decent nights' sleep as H kindly took the night shift both Friday and Saturday nights. Friday she slept through but last night she was up from 2230-midnight or so, so I did well to avoid that.
So I'm doing ok, and we've had two reasonably relaxing weekend days. Yesterday we wandered nearish to our house and Pob had a lovely time in the playground, trying desparately to go head first down the slide, although we stopped her every time. She is a climbing demon and always tries to go UP the slide, and no matter how hard it is, she keeps on persevering. Today we went down to Borough Market, one of London's foodie destinations, to try and take part in the Apple Day festivities. I am well known for being an apple addict. Sadly the crowds and the rain made this no fun for babies, and not much fun for grown-ups, so we had a nice lunch instead, then Pob slept while we wanted round the Rothko at Tate Modern. When she woke we took her to investigate the massive 2058 sculpture installation which she loved.
So it's been a good weekend. Tonight I have to work, and I leave on Tuesday for a business trip which means I won't see her from then until Friday morning. That feels like a very long time. It also means I will miss my blood test, which is oficially Weds morning. What I'll do is sneak in on Tuesday and they'll complain and do it anyway. I might as well get it over with, even though I'm feeling pretty negative right now (haha funny). I am not convinced it hasn't worked, but fairly sure. I haven't peed on a stick yet because I can't see the point, really. I've had none of the stretching and cramps of my previous three pregnancies, and although I sort of think that the full-term pregnancy with Pob might have disrupted that previously dead-on signal of pregnancy, I also have never had a pregnancy without that early symptom, hence my general negativity. We'll see. Only two sleeps until I find out. It'll be hard not to be able to hug Pob that night to make me feel better, but no doubt I'll survive, I always do. We always do.
Otherwise: My husband is unemployed. He has been for the last nine months. He is making less-than-half-assed attempts to get a job, and of course things are just getting harder. It has been driving me crazy for at least the last three months given he isn't doing childcare either. There you go, I've typed it. I've been avoiding it because I've been in denial for most of this period, scared of what I'll feel when I open it up. This I hope will mean I will finally write the post that I need to to get some of the frustration out of my system. But not now. Now it's time to go and give Pob her bottle.