The last time

On Sunday night, Pob's seven month birthday, we had our last breastfeed. I talked to her gently as she sucked away, and told her it was the last time. It was a lovely feed. I put her into bed after her story and her song, and came downstairs for dinner. H and I shared half a bottle of wine. It felt ok.

On Monday night I gave her her bottle. Throughout she kept diving for my boob, and whining. She drank the bottle ok, however, so I kept going with the routine, telling her the 'hippos go beserk' story and singing to her once she was in her swaddle in the cot. Then, as usual, I gave her her dummy and left the room. And she started crying. So I went back in, told her everything was ok, and left the room. And then she started crying again. Lather, rinse, repeat for 45 minutes before she eventually settled. I figured it was a bit of mourning for the boob, although I was surprised as she hadn't seemed to mind any of the previous feeds stopping.

On Tuesday we went through our usual routine. And this time it took 20 minutes to settle her. Better than last night, I thought. We're on the way up.

On Wednesday it took 30 minutes.

Tonight it took 1 hour 20 minutes, and she only settled in the end after H rocked her to sleep in the glider.

I dunno what to do. I don't want to go back to breastfeeding (oh I do I do, but I want to give my body some recovery time, not to mention the chance to get pregnant again), and let's face it, I'm sure there's not much milk in there for her right now. I don't want to have an unhappy baby, either. And I'm drawing a veil over the night time sleeping (ok, since you ask, last night I gave her a dream feed at 2230, then she woke at 215, settled on her own, 235, needed attention, 415, needed settling, 445, needed the dummy, 6am, was awake and didn't go back to sleep, although she was ok being entertained by her mobile for 20 minutes or so while I tried to pretend I was still sleeping). I'm worried that taking her away on Sunday is going to make it all worse, and worried about my mother looking after her all day - it turns out this training course I'm running is a very full agenda so I'm not sure I'll even be able to settle her each night.

Other than sleep things are wonderful. She naps beautifully during the day. She's really enjoying her solid food, and has become quite the roly poly baby. She tries to charm everyone she meets. She's gorgeous.

I just wish she'd sleep at night.

Comments

[sparklykatt]

My 5 month old wakes up like that at night too. Only he won't go back to sleep unless I nurse him. I am exhausted! Especially on the days I have to be in the office to work.

I feel your pain!

[Vicky]

Have you had a period yet? (Did you ever have regular periods? I can't remember.)

If you did want to continue to breastfeed, it's unlikely that one or two feeds a day will reduce your fertility. Lactational ammenorrhea only really applies to exclusive breast feeding, which you haven't been, and for the first six months, whch you're past. And if your menses have returned, you can assume it'e business as usual. I've just realised whilst typing this that actually I don't know whether you're going to be trying again with the help of an RE, which may negate what I've said!

Anyway, I've often sat here in absolute awe at how hard you've tried and read with tears in my eyes as you slowly made it through and made it work for you. You really are amazing. Congratulations.

[HGG]

You know, being 7 months it could pos be teething that is causing her to be unsettled rather than anything to do with breastfeeding and absolutely nothing you have or have not done!

[marie baguette]

I have the same issue and I don't want to go the ferberizing route -- I keep thinking he might be teething or the trash trucks woke him up or he had a nightmare, but I am TIRED. Good luck with everything

[Nico]

You *have* done a fabulous job with breastfeeding. Soon enough there will be other tender moments to take its place.

As far as sleeping goes, now is not a bad age to start some kind of "sleep training" if you haven't already. I found that starting at around that age, it would get Ant much more riled up when we went in to try and calm him than if we left him alone to cry for a while. He stopped the mid-night wake ups after just a couple of days, which I think is fairly common based on various things I've read. It may not be for you, which is fine, but I think if you pick a method and give it a shot, you'll likely be successful.

Any chance of some more mug shots of the beauteous one?

[Em]

I didn't realise how much I'd miss breastfeedg though I was ready to stop. We went to a "sleep school" for a day because Baby Eggs stopped sleeping in the day. They showed us controlled comfort, which was pretty good although we didn't really learn anything we didn't already kind-of know...just how to do it and stick to it.

[PBfish]

Hmmnn...I tried to go cold turkey with Z when I weaned him and found that he was much less crabby when I breastfed him once in the morning and once at night. Then I cut out the morning feed and then after a couple of more days the night feed. Maybe she just needs it to go a little slower? Not sure if that is an option for you, but it helped with Z.

[Em]

I didn't realise how much I'd miss breastfeedg though I was ready to stop. We went to a "sleep school" for a day because Baby Eggs stopped sleeping in the day. They showed us controlled comfort, which was pretty good although we didn't really learn anything we didn't already kind-of know...just how to do it and stick to it.

[Aurelia]

I'm not sure I have much to add except that when we ended breastfeeding mine were slightly older but still night-waking, and I found that if I sent someone in who wasn't me aka milkmommy it helped. So my husband went in in the middle of the night, and patted and sang, and comforted them without picking up and sooner or later, they gave up and slept.

[Erin]

I'm not sure I can add anything either, but a congratulations on making it 7 months while working so hard to nurse her, and also sympathy since I know how hard it is to stop. Even though I was the one who made the decision to stop nursing P (I also wanted my body back and a chance at getting pregnant again), and he didn't seem to miss it much, it still made my heart twinge a little with regret. I know it's hard. Congratulate yourself on a job very well done, and give yourself another glass of wine.

[Bea]

Hoping this is "just a phase". In any case, I'm sure you'll figure it out, like you have everything else.

Bea

[daysgoby]

You done good, sweetheart.

[Girl Detective]

You know, I'm saying the same thing about my two year old: I just wish he'd sleep at night. And every so often our 4yo throws himself into the mix, too. Ergh.

[wavybrains]

Congrats on making it so far! Could you perhaps just let her comfort feed at night only? If it's just that one feeding, she may stop herself, very quickly, if there's nothing coming? You've done a heroic job to make it this far! You earned that wine!

[Rachel Inbar]

When I stopped, it was only the first week that was hard on her - after that it seemed she had completely forgotten. If you can, have you husband take care of her before she goes to sleep. Go out shopping or something and just leave him to deal with it, instead of having to hear her cry...

7 months is VERY impressive :-)

[Jill]

I'm wondering if someone other than you could give her the last bottle at night, at least for several days until she gets used to not nursing.

[May]

No advice - I wouldn't know - but kudos for seven months (yay!), and I am sorry this is being hard on you. Poor Pob. Poor Thalia. Hopefully the above advices will be useful, and she'll settle down very very soon indeed.

And, of course, best of perfect luck with the creation of Pob's Sibling.

[Lut C.]

I've been postponing the last feed for a while now. It'll be there soon, sigh.

Perhaps she still smells your milk when you give her the bottle. Maybe, being put to bed by someone else is just what she needs?

But what do I know?

[Nikole]

Just sending you some warm thoughts. You've done great with the breastfeeding.

[moo]

Sending a hug for you, T and one for pob as well. You did great getting to 7 months. No advice as I am not there yet. But weaning beckons and I am sad to think of it. It has all gone by so fast and baby moo will be my only one. I wish I could time capsule every precious baby moment and replay it later without the fading of time. Luckily I have a million photos and video by the ton to help me. sorry for the long comment - your post just struck me today as weaning is on my mind. HUGS

[Betty M]

Sending good wishes for you and pob. When I went cold turkey with L I made her dad do bedtime for a week as I couldn't bear the wails and it worked so maybe your ma doing bedtime for a week could help? Hope the course goes well.

[Sarah]

i'm very excited to read how this progresses since i think i'm right behind you. good luck!