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Thursday, 06 September 2007

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BrooklynGirl

I'm sorry it's not working out exactly as you had hoped.

I delivered by c-section and was just so in awe of the fact that there was a baby--a real live baby there with me one moment when there hadn't been before--that the birth process really just seemed beside the point.

But I know...any disappointment after all you've been through just doesn't seem right.

Betty M

I too am sorry you are disappointed. But I am glad that the women sonographers were on the ball with the fibroid and you avoided an emergency c. Just two weeks though - so exciting. Now tell me you will be on maternity leave from now on please.

serenity

Well, that's decided then, eh? I am sorry that it seems like Pob has no choice but to be born on Sept. 20.

All the same, I am also happy that your team of doctors are on the ball enough to make the call that they did.

You're right though. At the end of the day you'll be holding your daughter. In a little less than two weeks.

Wow.

beagle

I'm sorry it won't go the way you had planned and hoped but I also hope that once you're holding your sweet girl it won't matter all that much.

Giving birth is a rite of passage and you have every right to wish to have experienced it in the traditional way.

(I am one of those crazy women who would have preferred a c-section. Maybe it's the OR nurse in me.)

pixi

My son's birthday is the other side of what Pob's will be (the 19th). It's a lovely time of year to have a baby and for outdoor birthday parties.

I'm so excited for you, Thalia!

Urban Chick

oh my goodness - two weeks' today! wow!

i do understand your disappointment (about the section and the pre-arranged birth date) but as you also know in your heart of hearts, very soon it won't matter to you

all that will matter is holding your precious baby girl in your arms

and there is an equality (with your partner) with a section: you're together on one side of the curtain (well, mostly! i know some guys are up for being on the other side - not mr chick!) and you're both there, holding, in anxious anticipation TOGETHER

and better an elective section than an emergency when you need a GA and miss the moment completely

anyway, that's not to belittle your disappointment but i still feel the delivery of my twins was a very special moment (oh, and my pelvic floor muscles are pretty much intact - for which i am grateful!)

can't wait for the big day...!

UC

Cat, Galloping

Hey, where would you rather care for a wound, really?!

electriclady

I totally get your disappointment and I'm sorry it's not working out as you had hoped. The good thing is that you do have plenty of time to adjust to the idea and to put plans in place for a c-section recovery, as opposed to getting blindsided by an emergency c.

Brenda

I delivered by C... for pretty much the same reason. Turns out I had a huge fibroid causing problems too. And I had a quick moment of disappointment, it went away quickly as I was just excited to actually have a date schedule. And you know what? I was just as in awe of the whole process. I mean... hello, knowing that you are cut wide open and wide awake at the same time... pretty damn awe inspiring. ;)

Monica

I'm sorry your birthing plan will not turn out as you wanted it to. However I'm sure any disappointment you have will quickly fade away when you see your beautiful daughter. In the end, you still get to go home with a healthy baby, and that's all that really matters. I'm very excited for you, two weeks is no time at all (especially compared to the length of the journey). I'll be sending you positive energy that day.

Krista

I too longed for a vaginal birth, but you are right whatever it takes to get them safely here. In fact, the C-section is not something I regret and I didn't have any trouble recovering from it.

Kay/Hanazono

Cat's comment made me spit out my tea! Bwa!

Two weeks -- how very exciting :)

maggie

As someone who adopted my daughter and never was able to gave any kind of birth ever - let me assure you that it wont matter one little bit how she came to be but that she is here. Congratulations!

M

Wow, that's come around so fast!

Sorry it's not what you'd hoped for, but happy that she is healthy and coming to you very soon... x

Tinker

I had a c-section after being induced and labouring for 18 hours. When my son started having decelerations and continued to refuse to descend, the docs refused to let me labour any longer. I was angry and disappointed for a very long time that I was denied a vaginal delivery, but my son is nearly two and a half and if I weren't still keen on more babies I probably wouldn't even think about it anymore.

A c-section is no fun, no question of that, but you know that you're going to be feeling a lot better when you hold your little one in your arms.

Yay for only two more weeks!

T

Woo hoo! I completely understand the loss aspect - but you could have wound up a c-section anyway - you'll be prepared for it at least (at least!) (unlike me). Two weeks Thalia - unreal isn't it?

Bea

That's really close! And yes, I'm sure you'll be forgiven!

Bea

Nico

I am so impressed with the thoroughness with which your doctors assessed your situation. And very interested in their opinion that babies usually aren't oblique without good reason - in our case, it was apparently because the umbilical cord was wrapped quite tightly around Ant's neck. Also very interesting that the uterus hasn't stretched properly to accomodate a transverse babe so the version often doesn't work.

I felt the same sense of sadness, and a surreal feeling based on knowing the birthday so far in advance. But definitely better to have a scheduled C than an emergency one! It will end up being a very special day for you, and knowing in advance that you're having the C means you can really take your time to appreciate the different things you're feeling.

Two weeks - how exciting!!!

Erin

How amazing! I am sorry that you're not going to have a vaginal birth, but am very happy that your doctor is so thorough and careful. I think that you'll be forgiven for not fasting or attending synagogue on Yom Kippur, given that you will have an amazing, brand-new daughter occupying your every thought. I can't wait to hear about Pob on the outside!

Aurelia

That is very cool about all the testing and assessments you've had. I'm glad they went through it so that now you know for sure you need a c-section and you'll never look back and wonder what might've been.

As for the date, well, she just might surprise you. You could go into labour early or even just have your water break. It wouldn't be an emergency c-section then, just a regular one, but on a date she picks!

Hmmmm, we'll be waiting to see what happens!

Adrienne

Two more weeks and you'll have her in your arms. What a beautiful and lovely thought! I know it's not exactly the way you would have wanted it, but life is never that, is it? ;-)

Rachel Inbar

Wow, just 2 weeks :-) My SIL had kids both ways and didn't seem to think there was much of a difference (even recovery-wise).

In terms of Yom Kippur, a woman who has just given birth is considered 'sick' and therefore not obligated to fast - so all you need to worry about is taking care of yourself and your baby.

Enjoy these last two weeks of kicking!

Drew

Thalia - just happy for you that it won't be long to go - just two weeks!!!!

And regarding C-section vs vaginal birth. Sometimes its a case of you-want-one-but-get-the-other, at least now you know when your baby will be expected. I am so excited for you - can't wait for your baby annoucement!

Tonya

I am sad that you don't have a say in the matter. At least you were able to make an informed decision, and I'm glad you and Pob's health are protected this way! A thought that occurred to me (not to be a Dolly Downer), but is there any chance you could go into labor before the 20th, and that the c/s date might not be completely written in ink yet? Sounds like you won't be dilating and effacing and all that, so perhaps not. It just popped into my head as a possibility. Hang in there... not too much longer to wait now!

Artblog

don't worry about the vaginal birth or not, just get Pob out healthy and sound. Must sort of be exciting to know the exact dob and not far to go now :)

lucky#2

Glad they realized why your Pob can't get in position. I had a c-section and it really wasn't that bad. I actually think the recovery for me was easier than my friend who had one at the same time. If you are like me, you just want them here, safe in your arms!

In two weeks you will be holding your little baby!

Lioness

Oh good God Thalia, on Yom Kippur you'll think abt Pikuach Nefesh and eat and drink and properly recover and produce milk and enjoy your healthy daughter! God can only be exceedingly pleased abt it.

I'm sorry you won't be able to have the vaginal birth that you hoped for but I think, maybe, once the shock wears off, you'll simply be relieved she'll be born in a way that won't make her suffer and pleased you're abt to meet her. This is at any rate what I hope for you.

Ms. Planner

Sometimes being able to make an informed decision based considering all factors is sweetly satisfying in itself. Cannot wait until Pob arrives safe & sound.

Lioness

Oh good God Thalia, on Yom Kippur you'll think abt Pikuach Nefesh and eat and drink and properly recover and produce milk and enjoy your healthy daughter! God can only be exceedingly pleased abt it.

I'm sorry you won't be able to have the vaginal birth that you hoped for but I think, maybe, once the shock wears off, you'll simply be relieved she'll be born in a way that won't make her suffer and pleased you're abt to meet her. This is at any rate what I hope for you.

[I hope this won't post twice, I'm back to this page somehow.]

Motel Manager

I also found it weird to know the birthday in advance - in fact, I picked it, because my OB told me I had to choose a date between 39 and 40 weeks. I looked at the various dates on Wikipedia to see what major events happened and what famous (or infamous) people had each day as a birthday, and then I picked. Weird.

It was also a little weird going into the hospital that morning - it sort of felt like any other visit to the hospital (where my clinic is), except that we had luggage with us.

I may have mentioned this before, but the one thing about the c-section that I was not prepared for is how many people were in the OR. LOTS! Like 10-15. I do go to a large teaching hospital (ie, lots of medical students and nursing students are involved in everything), but I would expect you'd still have a bunch there, too. It wasn't necessarily bad - just surprising.

At the encouragement of the anesthesiologist, my husband watched the baby come out. If your husband isn't squeamish and they allow this, I would encourage him to do the same. I didn't get to see the baby come out, but I did get to watch my husband, who got teary and excited, and that was great to see. And when I heard the baby's first cry, it was amazing.

Like you, I was initially ambivalent about a vaginal birth but came to want one once I'd heard others' experiences. In some ways, the breechness of my baby felt like another failure on the part of my body. But in the end the c-section was a great experience. The recovery was easy, and I never had to sit down gingerly. :)

Mary Ellen

I am sorry that it won't be happening in the way that you planned. It is exciting that it will be happening in 2 weeks though!

artsweet

I hear your disappointment, but I also think: a baby! a real baby! And soon! L'shanah tovah indeed!

AshPash

Two weeks and you will meet your daughter! Many good wishes for a comfortable-as-possible and event-free few weeks.

soralis

Sorry to hear about the fibroid. I always thought c-section/natural who cares as long as the baby is healthy. I was ok with the c-section, then a few months after I got a little sad but was just happy to have my boys. Anyway good luck and enjoy the rest of the PG.

Nina

I'm sorry you are disappointed, I do understand it well. BUT, oh my god, so soon the little one is going to be with you. I'm of course so happy for you a date is set and that you are OK with the decision. In the end the most important thing is to hold your little girl, whatever way she comes out. Lots of love. N

MoMo

I'm sorry it is not quite what you wanted--I know how it feels when you want something else to happen.

Wow...2 weeks-this is the fastest pregnancy ever!!

MoMo

I'm sorry it is not quite what you wanted--I know how it feels when you want something else to happen.

Wow...2 weeks-this is the fastest pregnancy ever!!

Robyn

Hey Thalia, two weeks...how exciting. and I agree with Aurelia about setting her own date. I felt like you, that my daughter would not be choosing her own birth date, when we scheduled a C- section because she was transverse. But lo and behold on the trolley outside theatre, my waters broke!

And like Rachel's SIL I've had them both ways and it really doesn't matter. The miracle just is - no matter how they get here. And their heads aren't bent all out of shape after a C-section either!

Jo in Utah

You are having a baby THIS month, like in not even two weeks. Oh my gosh, I can't believe the time is almost here. wow...

Sami

As someone who wanted a vaginal birth but ended up with a c-section let me just say - it really doesn't matter. I was so nervous and anxious to meet Squeaky that I truly could have cared less how he arrived. September 20th sounds like a fabulous day for Pob to be born... sorry we couldn't be a few days apart but Squeaky had other plans.

statia

I chose to have a c-section for medical reasons, and honestly, there was a small part of me (minute, really) that was kind of re missed that I didn't even give natural child birth a try, however, you're right, in the end, it really matters that they arrive healthy.

Though seriously, you have my undying respect for even thinking about an inversion. Yeesh.

I can't believe you're almost there. I can't wait!

statia

I chose to have a c-section for medical reasons, and honestly, there was a small part of me (minute, really) that was kind of re missed that I didn't even give natural child birth a try, however, you're right, in the end, it really matters that they arrive healthy.

Though seriously, you have my undying respect for even thinking about an inversion. Yeesh.

I can't believe you're almost there. I can't wait!

Kristin

I can only echo what others have said--better a planned c than a long labor followed by an emergency one. Pob may decide she's ready earlier than the 20th (especially if you don't rest; ahem.)
She'll be born on an astrological cusp if she does hang in there. And better a wound on the belly than one below--my son was birthed vaginally after meconium indicated a vacuum extraction, and I had a level four tear and had to have my episiotomy recut and restitched 6 weeks later since it didn't heal right, and I still have, and probably always will have, pain from the scarring. There's good and bad either way.

millie

Your daughter will be born on my mom's birthday! We'll be on holiday but will think good thoughts and raise our collective glasses to you.

Lut C.

I'm also looking at a c-section, unless my baby decides to turn in the coming weeks. And I too feel slightly disappointed. I had hoped to do something the normal way, not make a medical intervention out of it, again. I had been preparing myself too, reading up on things etc.
The fact that in the grand scheme of things it won't matter, doesn't take that feeling away.

One thing I'm now fretting over is whether to have an epidural or general anesthesia. I'm frightened of an epidural, without many solid reasons to fear it more than general anesthesia except for the 'needle in spine' factor.

Zara

We're having ours by c-section on the 20th too! All the best for a swift recovery.

Karen

I know it's not exactly what you were hoping for, but isn't it nice to just have a definitive answer? I'm very, very, very slowly coming to terms that my triplets are most likely coming into this world via c-section (probably about a week after your c-section). But you're right... in the end, it doesn't matter how they come into the world... our babies will be loved all the same.

perceval

I emailed you privately - I experienced the same situation, so am more than happy to share. Just take time to grieve the vaginal birth you won't experience, that will really help you with giving birth surgically. What I also did was be "induced" by my Shiatsu therapist shortly before the date of the operation, to let the baby know it was time to leave the nest.

ManhattanAnne

Thalia-

Congratulations on the marvelous impending event. Seems like now just about everyone I was in the trenches with has won the battle. Just want to wish you well.

Also, re the C. There's no point in over-romanticizing vaginal delivery if the choice isn't open to you. I had a natural unmedicated delivery. The whole thing felt very spiritual and lovely. Did a lot of self-hypnosis etc. Then came the pushing. I found that just hideous. Constipation by human cranium. I am telling you, it was so surreal. And when I felt myself begin to tear, I was truly terrified. If I could have stopped the whole process and kept the baby in, I would have! So, a neat, tidy, quick C has definite advantages! And like the lady said: pelvic floor. I'm a kegels queen, but sneezing is now a very hazardous occupation.

-ManhattanAnne

heleen

Exciting that the end of your pregnancy is in sight! I understand your disappointment. And a c-section is no fun. A v-birth doesn't seem like fun either. Maybe fun is not really what it is about... Ah well, one positive side effect for future fun: your v will stay in better shape.

Anyway, just one advice: If you possibly can don't take all the painkillers (esp morphine and codeine) they want you to take. You'll have more memories with less and it will be easier to tend to the needs of your daughter if you are awake, especially at night.

I don't know how it is in your country but over here in NZ they're trying to make new mums into junkies!

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