I should have given up the boards long ago, when I first found blogworld. Those awful blinkies and the babydust and the incredible ignorance of most of the people there. But somehow, I got drawn back in. I can help, I thought, I have knowledge! But the board I post on apparently doesn't want that. Either people are posting things like:
No heartbeat, beta of 150 at 6 weeks, now I'm bleeding is there any hope
And people are saying "*hugs*" (only more annoyingly with little people that expand and contract), "hang in there, you never know, this other woman on here had no heartbeat and at 8 weeks they found out she had twins!!"
Or people post some factual enquiry, usually
when can I test?
and lots of people are telling them that it's 17 days post egg collection or 21 days past trigger, or whatever.
On the first set, I have occasionally posted a very carefully worded note to say that things don't look good. A couple of times people have got in touch to say thanks, they appreciated the straight talk, but mostly I get shouted down by a bunch of women who think I am destroying their "PMA" and I should shut up.
On the second set, I sometimes post the facts. Implantation happens between days 6 and 10 in a pregnancy with a good chance of success, so if you are not getting a positive peestick (having tested more than one brand) at 14dpo then the fat lady hasn't sung, exactly, but she's certainly on her warm up. Then I don't just get shouted down, but told that every clinic is different, that there are different ways to calculate the age of a pregnancy, yadda yadda yadda.
In particular, one of the experts on this board seems to find me each time I post advice, and contradict me. She knows a lot, mostly from her own long and painful history, and is tremendously invested in the board, she posts there on almost every thread, but she is just wrong on a couple of topics. The problem I have with her is not that we disagree, neither of us is posting as a doctor after all, but that almost every time I post something she takes issue with it. It's quite irritating to type out a long post, with the sole aim of helping someone at an earlier stage in the journey, and then get attacked, or my advice contradicted, seemingly just for the sake of it. I think the attack is because she enjoys being the most knowledgeable person there, and I clearly know quite a bit, but it still hurts.
I know the answer is to give up the board. I don't have a community there, anyone I care about knows I'm here instead and checks in. I do like to look in on the board for my clinic to see how things are going, but they wouldn't miss me as I don't really post, I just check in. My advice could probably be duplicated by the expert above on most topics, and by others when she has a blind spot. My 'let me tell it like it might be' posts I'm sure everyone could live without. So why am I finding it so hard to just give up?
I guess I like being able to help, I like knowing stuff. That's why I came back to this blog, I wanted to continue to share the benefits of what I know, what I had to struggle to learn, with others. That board community is full of people who know very little, but I think some of them prefer it that way, it's more for support than for knowledge. I'm better off in blogworld where we fib to each other a bit less. Heaven knows I would not miss the blinkies.
Tell me to go cold turkey please.