The movements have been so strong that I thought it must be possible to see them. Sure enough, while she was having a real go at me on Saturday night I lifted up my t-shirt, and whomp there she was, my stomach moved. I couldn't help keeping on looking whenever the kicks or punches felt particularly strong. So far pretty much every quadrant of my bump has been observed to move. Very odd but very wonderful.
She's not always that cooperative. Sometimes she doesn't move in a way I can feel for hours and I really really freak out. I've even poked her to try and get her moving. Doesn't work. I've eaten sweets to try and get her to move. Also doesn't work that well. If she isn't in the moving mindset she doesn't move. Or, more likely, she gets herself in a position where I can't feel it. But it's scary nonetheless. I do know that I feel her more at weekends, so either she moves more when I'm more relaxed, or I am just more conscious of the movements when I'm relaxed. I've also been massively stressed at work, so that probably doesn't help. It certainly helps me freak out that I've killed the baby because I'm too stressed. Melodramatic, much?
It's started to feel really really real. That we might have a baby. I know I keep saying that, perhaps at each stage it just becomes a bit more real. Well, right now it feels real enough to talk about names, and maternity leave, and how to clean out the room that will be the passenger's when she arrives, without me freaking out every 10 minutes. Please let it be when, and not if.