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Friday, 06 October 2006


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I hadn't heard the "3 failures then switch scenario". But I too take comfort in the fact that I got pregnant, and my clinic has a good reputation, just as you do. There has to be something to that.

Of course, I too have wondered about the fertility clinic I've seen on Harley St. with the shiny door.

Maybe it's a good idea to talk to your doc, first. Getting started at a new clinic will take some time.

PS-can you let me know what clinic you're referring to, the one with the good sparkly stats?

fisher queen

The switching clinics question is a tough one. I was very glad that I did- they did have much better stats, but almost more importantly, they had much better service. I knew what was going on all the time. My life was bout a thousand times better because of that. Is there some way you could verify how they get their stats?


Good luck with your appointment, Thalia. I hope you get some answers.


Ugh- you've got some hard questions and tough issues to grapple with. I hear on the clinic thing- I went through a similar thing myself. It is so hard to have the energy to get through this in the first place, even when you can find one that is convenient enough. Ultimately, I ended up staying. I'm not sure if it was for rational reasons or if I just let myself be convinced they were rational so I wouldn't have to deal with the headache of switching.
I love the whacked out dreams, so don't stop writing about them.
Good luck today.


Poor Thalia's body...

You can start to make enquiries with adoption agencies, choose an agency, go to open evenings etc. all while you are doing treatment. But if you are like us, you won't feel ready to start that while all this stuff is going on. Our friends who had a cycle cancelled in July are starting things with the China agency for our region now.

Don't tell anyone, but I've heard several rumours about people telling the adoption agency they had stopped treatment and then, hey presto, they got pregnant through IVF. Lots of others do it naturally (though I suspect most are like us, with sub-fertility and the clock ticking, rather than years of unexplained/a definite reason).


What a dream. I hate the anxiety dreams. In the midst of being diagnosed as high FSH, I had a dream that my mother (who is in her 60s and well past menopause)was pregnant.
Awful, just awful.
Good luck with the appointment.


That dream was very interesting. I hope the actual appointment goes much better.

The switching clinic thing is a tough one. I struggled and ultimately I stayed but I haven't decided yet if that was a good idea. Those clinic with their sparkly (even if somewhat artificial) stats do still haunt me.

Be interesting what the doc says about doing a blast transfer. As you know, 2 out of the 3 embryo's that they had chosen for us if we did a day 3 transfer didn't make it to blast.

Thalia, I am hoping that you get the answers that you need to hear. And that those answers gives you hope about your next cycle.


Wow, there's a lot going on in that dream. I can't speak to the switching of clinics...but I hope you get satisfactory answers today. also hoping the future starts to crystalize for you - with a plan.


Instead of switcing clinics, I stayed at my clinic and switched REs. Of course, now that we are off the TTC road, I'm starting to second guess whether switching clinics could have been the magic bullet. I'm sure I would have thought the inverse if we'd switched (that if I had just stayed at my old clinic we would have been successful).

Hope your appt went well today. Have a good weekend with your friends.


I have to say I really admire your thoughtful, practical demeanor in the face of all of this. Me, I'm just one big ball of emotion. At once ragingly convinced that my frozens aren't going to work anyway, so why even try and then, short-lived glimmers of "it may just work and we won't ever have to go through this again." Erratic, irrational, just all emotion. Your picking yourself up by the bootstraps and getting back to the business of not giving up is an admirable thing!

Lut C.

I hope the consult goes better than you expect, and is nothing at all like you dream.


That was quite the interesting dream. I had never heard that if a person you dream about doesn't look like themself, you're projecting someone else onto them. It's something to keep in mind next time I have a really weird dream.

It sounds like a tough decision on whether or not to switch clinics, and even tougher with all the other questions that you have to consider. Are the stats required to be reported from all clinics the same way? I've heard of clinics who raise their stats by reporting a pregnancy in anyone who has a positive beta even if it doesn't double, let alone get a baby out of it. Just curious.


When I decided to do a third cycle at our clinic, I thought a lot about getupgrrl's experience. She had made a plan never to do more than two cycles with the same clinic/dr, which is how she found out that Dr. Love was an idiot who had completetly missed the t-shaped uterus problem. So I felt like I had been warned, but I stuck with my RE anyway.

Can you do a just a consultation somewhere else? I've heard of people doing that.

I hope you get good answers from your doctor today.


I really hope that your consult goes well, I think you've got all your bases covered with your questions. As for switching clinics, I say go with your gut. I switched clinics after 3 unsuccessful cycles, and when I moved I just knew I'd done the right thing. In your case, it sounds like you know you're at the right place for you now. Statistics Shmatistics... Maybe you could go for 1 consult and get a 'feel' for the place to see how you like it?
Look forward to your update.

Mary Ellen

I hope that your consult went well, and you got a lot of the answers that you needed. I will be checking back for updates. Sending you a hug.


I hate having to always wonder whether we're doing the right thing. It's so hard to tell who the best person is - even as well-read as we are, for lay people. Stats get manipulated, we fall for charisma and charm, it's so hard to distinguish between two specialists' technical expertise, especially when they all have little areas of sub-speciality.

I guess all I can say is do whatever you think will cause you the least regret. Do what you have to do so you can look back and feel you've tried your best, whatever happens.

Which doesn't, of course, help you to make a decision.

I liked hearing about your dream, though. I think your interpretation is just perfect.



Ugh. Wouldn't it be so nice if something, anything, any little thing, about infertility could be easy and didn't have us second guessing ourselves all the time? Hope your consult goes well and you enjoy your weekend.


As much as I loved my RE and clinic (I still do), if I could go back in time and redo some things (and this is just me), I would switch sooner than I did, or at least branch out for the consults sooner.

I believe in the Julie rule. More about the lab and the embryologist than the RE.

However, that said, if you are comfortable there and like Dr Candour's plan...stay. You did get pg there and not tlong ago. Which makes for a different mantra.

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