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Monday, 18 September 2006


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I've been checking in every day and hoping for you. I don't know what to say. Please know a lot of people are thinking of you. Infertility sucks and just gets harder and harder.


If I were you, I think I would be giving myself a wee break and not doing another fresh cycle but doing a FET. You have some quality frozens and it would be quicker and easier to do. But I am not you and I know how hard it is to face your 40th birthday childless. But you know what? It really does not make a difference other than being on the other side of the HFEA transfer policy.

Thinking of you, sweetie. I know how much you wanted this to work.


Dear Thalia, I wish there were something I could say that would put a smile on your face now. The disappointment must be so hard to bear.

I know this is a bit too early to think through all the scenarios, but what if you did an FET really soon? Not because of your birthday, but in order to keep the endo from coming back in force?


My beta was 78 on day 16. Low as anything.


Just passing through...I'm going through IVF right now. My first cycle was cancelled right in the middle of it so now we are on round 2. I start injections next week. I admire your strength. This whole process is incredibly stressful.


Crap. I didn't get online this weekend, so I just read about the whiteness of your tests. I'm sorry....

I think the ideas above about trying a FET soonish sounds like something you should consider. Good luck with the rest of the week.


Oh, Thalia, it crushed me to read this post. I'm sorry it's so hard. I'm sorry you're in such pain. It's just terrible.


Thalia, I'm so sorry. Sorry it didn't work, sorry your birthday is looming over you, sorry this just isn't easy and simple and fun. I wish there was something that would make it easier. Take care of yourself and good luck, whatever you decide.


I just don't know what's likely anymore, Thalia. There are always suprises with these cycles, good and bad, and I have to believe it's not over until they say it is. Smack me for the optimism if you must. I'm not giving up on you yet...


Oh Thalia, how I wish with everything that things were different for you.
Drink much wine my friend.... x


Shit, Thalia. I'm not going to second guess you. "Anything can happen!" rarely cuts the mustard. I agree you should process this cycle and its result before making any final decisions on "next".



Crap on hot tin roof. I'm so sorry to read this, Thalia. I think your 40th birthday should be spent somewhere warm and tropical, where you can pamper your body and soul. Because these milestone birthdays? They suck.

Dumptruck loads of hugs whiz across the atlantic to you.


In the middle of going through my last miscarriage I started to think about 'what next'. I think being so aware of the AGE thing is the killer - you feel like there is JUST NO TIME TO LOSE. It didn't help though, it all takes such a stupidly long time. Each birthday is just more devastating.
If I were to make a recommendation, I would say do another cycle asap, but GIVE UP WORK while you do it. I personally cannot believe that stress does not affect our chances.


Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and so sorry you're having this kind of stress. I know all to well the pressures and depression of a big birthday on top of everthing else.


Milestone birthdays add an extra element of pain. I'm so sorry. I understand. I measure everything this way. My last cycle was my last chance to have a baby by 38. (38 was some magic cutoff I created way back when I assumed I'd never have to worry about it, now I have to readjust my number and my expectations. I think 43 sounds reasonable now, we'll see where that leads!)

You've been through so much. I am so sorry this has been so damn hard.

Sending you some cyber hugs.

Carla Hinkle

So sorry. Thinking of you.


Oy- I'm sorry, but still holding out a small bit of hope for tomorrow. And I wish that you didn't have this added stress of a milestone birthday. Its hard how we (and society) blows up certain things in our minds (eg, must graduate from college by x age, must marry by x age, etc.)


Sorry to hear this, sweet T.

I'm an optimist, and holding out some hope for you tomorrow.


I'm so sorry. I was so hoping that this would be the one for you. Failed IVF rounds just plain suck. Give yourself as much time as you need to grieve. I'll be thinking of you.


Take your time. Think things through and don't rush. Honestly. That is the best thing to do right now.


I am so very sorry... I wish I had more than words. I am thinking about you right now and hoping you find a decision about the next steps which will give you a measure of hope.

*HUG* I am holding out hope and thinking of you.


Not very helpful I know, but I've only ever had anything positive 2 days after my period was due - and at least the first time, the HcG wasn't the problem, as I kept on feeling sick till I should have been 11 weeks. I thought that the blood levels and the urine levels didn't really correspond to each other? Or is that all out of the window when you do IVF because it is so much more accurate in timing and everything??

I know all about the time pressure...

waiting line

oh Thalia, so sorry.

I am waiting for our 1st FET after 2nd IVF and am already thinking about what's next. So I understand all the questions running through your head during this very difficult time. For what its worth, if I were you, I would take a short break (just enough to catch my breath, if possible) and then try FETs. You have some beautiful frozen embies. It's definitely worth a shot. That home in Tahiti can wait until your kids go to college. You will have them someday.



Thalia-Thinking of you and sending you some virtual hugs.


Thalia, I'm sorry. I wish I could say something truly profound and wise that would really click and make it all better. But as usual, I can't. just know that I'm thinking of you.


I'm so sorry, Thalia. You've been through so much over the last year, maybe a short break will help you? I don't know, of course, just trying to offer something that might comfort you when I know nothing will.

Thinking of you and H.


No assvice to offer about when/what to do next, just sending you lots of love from someone who knows well just how much it hurts to hit 40 unpregnant and with no living child. Thinking of you. xxx

Lut C.

There's just no logic to this, it's awful.
You would think a couple of beautiful embryos would do the trick.

I'm sorry.


Sending a very big hug your way.


I can't hope but help it was a shitty pee stick but I know how well you know your own body. I am so sorry.
You know my assvice would be FET but that's a decision only you and H can make.


Dear Thalia,
I am very, very, very sorry for that white stick. I am so sorry you are having to go through this.


Oh hell, hell, hell. I am so sorry Thalia. No advice, just my very best wishes to you and H.


Thalia. I am here in the same space with you. I tested HPT yesterday at 13dp5dt (FET) and white as snow negative. this morning i went in for my beta because that's what people do. but i have been doing all the same thinking and researching as you have and i know it's over (I am even more advanced than you are). so.

what do I say to you? what do we say to each other? well, I wish both of our results were different. and i wish us both perseverence and never-ending hope and bountiful "other parts of life". i send you a giant hug from one who really does understand.


Am so sorry Thalia. It is a terrible thing to face again and again (i'm on IV#4 after 15 IUIs) and facing the same thing with my beta tomorrow. It doesn't get any easier, and milestone birthdays and other people's success just make everything harder.

I say take a deep, deep breath and do the FET. You have good embies in storage--I have never once managed to get any frozen ones, so I envy you that.

fisher queen

Oh sweetie I'm sorry. I don't know what you should do except take good care of yourself over the next few days. Hugs from far away.


The purgatory you are in right now is more than grueling. It so very sucks.

Know that so many of us are thinking of you and here no matter what happens tomorrow.

Hang in there, deep breaths, you're doing great and you have been through so much.

Keep loving yourself,


Thalia - breath girl, just breath. In - out. In -out.
Once you get your Beta - ask about the 2 vs. 3 embryos (I can't imagine it really is an "at the stroke of midnight" thing). I'd go with another fresh cycle because your frozen embryos aren't going anywhere - they'll always be there when you want to use them.
And... breath.


Oh Thalia. I won't blow false hope up your bum. I'm so sorry, I was really rooting for you.


Thalia, I'm so sorry. I remember how I felt during my first IVF when my body signaled "nope" (and it was right), yet everybody else was still full of optimism. Hang in there, girl.


Thalia, I don't know what to say. This sucks, sucks, sucks. I was so hoping this would be the one for you. Take care of yourself and give yourself time to make the big decision of what's next.


Ugh. Just thinking of you...


No words, just hugs. It's not fair!!!

Do whatever you feel you need to, and it will be the right thing.


I am so so sorry. And I know exactly what you mean about bloody 40. It is unremitting. I am so sorry. Can you at least get plastered on some really good wine this coming weekend? Not that it helps, but still. I wish - what you wish.


Things are too raw right now so I think you're right, this is not the time to make any decisions.

But, when you are ready to think about the future, if the timing works out, why not consider doing a FET right away then doing a fresh right after your birthday and transfer 3? I know there are lots of considerations (multiples, endo, etc.). I'm just throw an idea out there.

Be gentle with yourself, Thalia.


No platitudes, just hanging out here waiting for whatever happens.


I am so sorry.

I know this is such a difficult time and I wish there was something more comforting to say, but there just isn't.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.


I'm sorry.

A warm and tropical place for the 40th birthday worked for me.


Sending you a big hug... thinking of you


Sending you positive thoughts.


I really, really wish you had a differnt outcome Thalia. I'm ticked off on your behalf and hoping that no matter what you choose to do, you have some peace.

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