I just got the following email from the esteemed doctor.
Re miscarriage, 30% chance of pregnancy, then a 15% chance of miscarriage. (I could have sworn he said sthg different in the meeting, but there you go).
Your karyotype results are back. Normal 46XY
Yup, not the most tactful way to break the news.
I didn't realise how devastated I would be to know that it was a boy, not to mention a normal boy. I was very convinced it was a genetic problem which would be just bad luck and might or might not happen again. But if I miscarried a normal boy, then presumably I might do that again. What do we do now? I know the answer is nothing, we just try again, but somehow it is even more terrifying. And very very sad. It is so much more real to know that we had a boy, not just an embryo. A boy who would have become our son, if something hadn't stood in his way. Something that we don't understand and therefore can do nothing about.
Just when I thought things were on the mend.