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Wednesday, 10 May 2006

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Vivien

I wish there was something I could say that would help, but I sympathise SO much. Thinking of you, and wishing you what you wish for, even if that has nothing to do with the outcome.

katie

It must be really really hard. I have pre-cycle cramping 9 cycles out of 10, including both times I've been pregnant; there's a different, very dull ache I get actually while I'm bleeding but otherwise there is no difference. I'm not offering this up as "hope" (I'm not exactly a shining paragon of trouble-free pregnancy, now am I?) but just saying, don't let it freak you out...

And, er, feeling bunged up: presumably you are on mega doses of progesterone, so whatever small amount your body is or isn't producing is not going to make that much difference. It has to be dietary.

I have to say I would have been really tempted to say "I'm Thalia and I've been trying to have children since whenever, and I've had to take X amount of time off for gynaecological issues and that is also really hard". Because it is, even if it's not IVF, and men don't have to do that. And women who don't have this kind of issue don't realise that, and should.

I was at a discrimination seminar for employers/interviewers recently and one woman talked about discrimination in her previous job because she took adoption leave, and I thought that was quite brave of her as I imagine people assume a lot when they hear you've adopted.

Pamplemousse

T, I wish I could give you some hope in a bag or a light at the end of the tunnel. All you can do is hang on so tight that your fingernails go white.

I hear you on the women at the conference. I feel like the only woman in my dept that does not have children (which is not true) and my latest thing is reading about women in mags and checking how many children they have and at what age they had them. In the Woman & Home current issue, there is an article about women and their friends and there are 2 women who had their children at 41 and 42, respectively. Of course, that makes me think it was not their first child or they maybe did not have fertility woes.

All you can do is keep taking the drugs and hang in there. This is easy for me to say though as I have never, before been in an IVF 2ww.

Susan

Hang in there girl.

The past does not predict the future.

I'm thinking of you and wishing you much peace and good news.

lindy

Hoping and hoping and hoping for you Thalia. I so want this to be it!

Jenn

*hugs*

Cricket

All I can say is that, despite everything, you won the award for word of the day: blahdiblah. Classic.

ninaB

Having similar symtoms and feeling just as crappy. It's so hard, isn't it?

Flicka

The TWW is worse than bamboo under the fingernails. Hang in there, hon.

Mary Scarlet

Thalia, I am hoping that what you are feeling is something quite different. I'm awfully sorry you had to endure that seminar. Any other time but during the 2WW, please. Thinking of you.

Nico

There is definitely still hope! Cramping when the embryos are 7-9 days old: implantation cramps? Definite possibility.

I want so much for you to make it to beta day and beyond as well.

Kath

Dear Thalia, I keep thinking about you and asking myself how you must be feeling right now. This must be so difficult and draining for you, this waiting and trying to keep both the hope and the despair at bay.

I know how hard it is not to compare what is happening with what has gone before, but the body's signals are unreliable. That's all I can offer in the way of comfort.

How awful about the conference. That is one hard-earned bottle of champagne...

Ann

Hang in there, Thalia. Thinking of you.

amanda

The lack of control is just maddening, and the 2ww is beyond torture. I've got everything crossed for you.

Betty

It is so difficult not to analyse every twinge or lack of twinge as first a negative, then a possible positive then a definite negative again. In case it is any consolation at all (which I doubt but I give it anyway just in case) I cramped all the way through my 2ww in my current pregnancy and for the first 9 weeks and the constipation never went away. Hoping for the best for you.

Sheryl

Thinking and hoping for you Thalia. Don't give up, cramping means nothing! I had full on period cramps and was sure the end was near. Hoping all the best for you Thalia {{HUGS}}

Sarah

There probably isn't anything that will make you feel more optimistic, but I am really hoping that things go well for you. Hang in there. I'm sending all my positive thoughts your way!

Leggy

Oh Thalia- it really does suck, doesn't it. Its so hard to realize how little of it all is within our control when we've grown up thinking that so much (our career path, our choices, our ability to live comfortably if we work hard enough) IS within our control.

I so hope this works for you.

fisher queen

The two week wait after transfer was one time I could relax simply because there really wasn't anything I could do. Hang in there sweetie. You might have good news.

shelli

Nothing we cna say can take away the anxiedty - so just know we are all thinking of you, rooting for you, and understand you.

mm

Geez. You deserved a CASE of Champagne for making it through that panel discussion on Monday. How awful. I'm hoping for you.

chee chee

This process is so God-awful. If it's not one thing, it's another. I so hope that you not only make it to the beta but that you get good news this time around. Thinking of you.

soralis

2ww-ing sucks, I understand that anxiety feeling.

I have nothing great to say, I just hope it works!

Carla Hinkle

Waiting sucks, no two ways about it.
Also that it is possible to have every symptom under the sun (sore boobs, not sore boobs, cramping, no cramping, etc etc ad nauseaum) and be either pregnant or not pregnant. The micro-analyzing of every might-be symptom makes the hours draaaaaaaaaag by.

I am thinking very, very good thoughts for you. Hang in there.

Nicole

I hope it works for you. I know how hard it is to feel like the only one without kids. People don't do it on purpose but it still kills you when it is brought up.

Feel better and I refuse to say "Just Relax". I guess, just try to be calm. There is nothing you can do to change this outcome, now it is all up to Buffy and Faith.

Amyesq

That panel discussion sounded HORRIBLE. Incredibly good for you for making it through. If it were me I would have been like "And I'm Thalia and I'm 5dp2dt and ALL of you can kiss my arse. Thank you."

Keeping everything crossed for you right now.

millie

Thinking very good thoughts for you and wishing you could fast forward through the rest of your wait.

PBfish

Gah. I hate progesterone. I only took it once, but it truly kicked my ass. I remember cramping and being exhausted and SO crabby.
I hate that you had to deal with that panel. And I'm hoping that you have great news soon.

Mellie

Oh Thalia my dear, you're absolutely right in that there is nothing you can do. It completely sucks - because if you were in control you know you'd have it all figured out. Don't give up yet - what you're feeling could be anything and you've come such a long way. There's every reason to think that Buffy and Faith are hanging around.

Sending you warm thoughts...

Linda

Thalia, Hang in there girl. I'm right in there with you. I am thinking of you everyday, hoping, wishing, praying. May we both get excellent news in the next few days. ((hugs))

serenity

It totally and utterly sucks. I am sorry you're grumpy... but am HOPING with everything I've got that your wait ends with very good news.

Hang in there and GOOD LUCK!!!!

(and if it's ok with you, I'd like to post a link of your blog on mine?)

MoMo

Oh Thalia...I know the waiting sucks big time...and you can't do anything but wait...I wished there is something I can say to make it easier, but I know I can't. Hang in there...I am praying that you will only have positive news in the coming days! Hugs!

Kristi

Cramping doesn't mean the fat lady is singing! Hang in there. You have so many people rooting for you right now. Distraction should be your best friend right now. Keep yourself busy and your mind occupied. Easier said than done, I know. But it helps.

zarqa

FWIW, I cramped all throughout the 2ww and beyond. And I know what you mean about the worry over the absense of constipation. I practically will myself to be constipated if that's what it'll take to keep me pregnant and I worry over too-easy movements too. But then again, you are drinking the water and eating the fiber so I tend to agree with what another commenter said about progesterone: you're getting enough, it has to be diet that is freeing up your movements.
And I emphatically ditto the remark: body signals are unreliable!

Anna

I'm sorry I've been absent lately, but you've been in my thoughts. I'm just getting caugght up, and I'm wishing you the absolute best. I hope dearly that this will work. It's optomistic that you've got 6 frozen ones waiting in the wings, but it'd be nice if this works this time around. Hang in there, and curses to all the damned symptoms. All bits are dutifully crossed for you. Lovely hugs are sent your way. : )

Summer

What a nightmare that panel discussion must have been.

I am thinking of you, Thalia.

Julie B

I second the `diet rather than progesterone' reason for the relief from constipation. you have so much progesterone being pumped into your system artificially, that a bowel motion can't be a sign of failing embies. I've been through eight 2ww's - I ended up with an extremely anal spreadsheet analysing every day of every 2ww; whether I had sore boobs/cramps/headaches etc. The 8th 2ww [successful thanks to my donor sister], I did a blood test 2 days early, so convinced was I that my period was about to start. you just can't tell what is happening. best of luck.

Spanglish

Uuf. Hang in there.

Donna

I disagree, you are here because this is what you want, and you've done everything in your power to make it work. Hang in there.

kati

Thalia, hang in there as best as you can. And don't beat yourself up about the visualization stuff etc. Your future kids may remember that as spying on them anyway...

wish you the best.

Hopeful Mother

Thalia, I'm thinking of you. I can only imagine how hard this is for you.

As they say in the stock market world -- "Past performance is not indicative of future returns!" I hope that makes you smile.

Situations like that conference suck. I too hate feeling abnormal like I can't talk about our infertility with other women, especially in a group like that.

You are incredibly strong and brave! I hope your 2ww is over as fast as possible!

S

Argh, the 2WW just sucks sucks SUCKS SWEATY MOOSE BALLS!!!!

Okay, I said it.

Seriously, hang in there girl. You're doing everything possible for a positive outcome. You can get through this.

Yick on the panel discussion bullshit. I would've bashed the champers over their insensitive heads, if it weren't considered alcohol abuse......but I'm just a bitter bitch, so what do I know?

KIMMER

Oh Thalia,
I am so very sorry about the fertie conference, god, I so know that feeling. Just know I’m thinking about you and wishing/hoping very hard that this works. As you know the 2ww is horrid, hope the anxiety eases up some if possible!

Rebecca

I'm so sorry you had to be on that panel for the conference. What a tough experience. I hope these embryos are the perfect fit, and that you get exactly what you want. I'm thinking of you...

heleen

It's one of the hardest things I can think of, the 2ww. And nobody out there in the fertile world really understands. Good you're blogging. Lots of people overhere know what you're going through. Thinking of you.

sube

Wishing you only sweet dreams from here on out.

Lola Badeggs

I'm thinking of you.

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