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Monday, 15 May 2006

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thalia

Spoke too soon. Still spots of fresh blood, too.

Krista

Oh Thalia my heart is breaking for you, but I am still holding out hope that this may work. I know how hard it is, I am glad to hear that you are resting and taking it easy. I will check in with you again later today. Sending you warm and fuzzy thoughts

Vanessa

You're not alone, no matter what happens. I wish I could say more than that, but hopefully you know just how tongue-tied you feel when you sit on the sidelines and watch.

Kath

Dear Thalia, I'm so sorry. This is so cruel. I know this is too much for you to do right now, but I am still hoping with all my heart that this works out, and devising very credible reasons why this is not necessarily the worst news.

I wish I could do something besides think of you with affection and hope.

Kath

In case I might be might be misunderstood, I meant I was devising very credible reasons why your symptoms do not mean what you think they mean.

Meg

..i am hoping for you thalia...


x

LEB

Oh Thalia, I hope you don't have to wait long for the beta, I hope the number is good, I hope it doubles well, I hope the bleeding is just some stupid SCH or something.

Drew

Thanks Thalia for dropping by.
I am sorry to hear you are bleeding too. I just got my blood numbers - and its definitely all over.
Hang in there.
Sorry I am trying to be upbeat and say something upbeat but I really can't. :( I wish I can be face to face with you - that way I can give you a big hug.

Mary Scarlet

I'm so sorry Thalia. You know yourself so well and are very good at reading your signs. This is heartbreaking. I am still holding out some hope for you, however, and waiting to hear the beta results.

lindy

I'm still hoping for you, Thalia. It's not over til it's over. And I'm going to be a total asshat and remind you that those FRER test lines really can't be read that way - especially the thickness of them. Mine were all over the place in the first week.

I know the next few days are going to be terrible for you either way though and I hate that you're going to have to go through it.

Kristi

It's not over Thalia. There are several possibilities going on here. My thoughts are with you, and I'm still holding out hope for you. Don't surrender!

stephanie

thalia--i wish i could waive my magic wand and make all of this better. then again i would need a magic wand....

i am still hoping beyond hope that this is just funky stuff and not bad news. either way it will be a long fews days. thinking of you and sending all my best.

Jenn

I'm sorry this couldn't just be a clear case of celebration. I don't know if this will help, but even with all the HCG boosters I had, I didn't get a dark line until I was a few days past where you are now. And even then I would have lighter and darker lines that drove me nuts.

swisschard

I will say first that I am sorry it is so hard. Even finding a platelet of blood at this point is nasty and undeserved.

But I will also re-iterate what some of the other commenters have also said: you cannot atttribute the sort of accuracy to the thickness of HPTs that you can to laboratory beta numbers. You do know yourself and your symptoms and how your body works. But you have also gone through this experience (I mean the IVF, its piercing speculations and mood swings) enough to know that you cannot trust your judgment at this point.

I yesterday had brunch with a friend who just discovered -- via an ultrasound -- that she is one month further along in her pregnancy than she believed. She had her period: a full blown tampon exhausting period. But it turned out this was instead normal "saignements de grossesse." Of course such events are more easily classified as normal for the Oblivous Fertile (of which she is one). But your unusual path to this point does not mean that you are destined to a life of pathology from now on.

We who have such trouble conceiving -- I am one, you are one, we are many here -- have to believe that there is no fate at work. It wasn't meant to be. You are not meant to experience each possible misery associated with this process.

Thalia, the blood sucks. But it is not a verdict.

Heather

I'm so sorry you're on this rollercoaster -- as if you haven't been through enough already. I'm still thinking of you and hoping for the best.

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