Well those headaches are real doozies. I've discovered since the first one hit on Tuesday that the secret, as with the buserelin induced one I had in October, is to chug water like I'm someone who has been lost in the desert for weeks. Everytime I slow down on the drinking, I start to feel the edges of my skull start to constrict my brain and the vague nausea kicks in. If I drink enough in the next 30 minutes, I can usually fend it off. Tuesday I obviously just wasn't ambitious enough with my water intake, and by 7pm when I got the document I was working on out the door, I was in real, eye-bursting pain, with nausea just to cap it off. At that point no matter how much water I drank, it wouldn't go away. The cure was 14 hours of sleep, and since then I've been a bit smarter about the drinking, even if it does mean going to the loo every 2 hours minimum. An intake of 3-4 litres a day seems to keep it away. Fun.
The bleeding has slowed to a few spots here and there, and Dr Candour did get back to me, unsurprised and unphased. He pointed out that this may mean that I don't get a bleed at the end of this month, but that even so we go straight into stimms on 17 April, assuming that everything looks nice and suppressed by then. I don't see how it's possible for it not to be nice and suppressed given how I'm feeling, but I guess our bodies can always find some way to mess things up, right?
Thanks for your comments on the last post. I do suffer from moments of doubt, but at the same time I'm not ready to give up the interventions. Let's face it, after 15 months of medical intervention we've still only done one full round of ART. That's not really enough for me to say stop. We've barely tried. I remember reading Tertia's blog early on and being terrified at all she went through - something like 6IUIs and 6 IVFs before eventually Adam and Kate were born. I read that and knew that if that was what it took, I wouldn't be able to do it. Not because I'd give up before then, because frankly I want a child so much that I think I would keep going through treatment for ever if it looked like it had an earthly chance of working, but because I simply didn't have time to go through all those cycles. I was too old when we started this little boondoggle.
So I feel like I'm unfairly asking for a "get out of jail free" card. That because I started when I only has a few years left, I need to ask the universe not to put me through that kind of marathon. Although it's unfair, it's just true. If it doesn't work for us on this cycle or the next, I'll be 40 and really have to think about whether I'm doing the right thing in continuing to pursue treatment. Of course none of us should have to go through so many traumatic experiences with infertility, but Tertia did, and a friend of a friend did 10 IVFs before her baby was born, and T did I think five or six IVFs before her new daughter was conceived - people do. But I can't. I hope the universe is feeling merciful.