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Wednesday, 23 November 2005

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Vivien

Thalia, the up and down stuff is so familiar, and I feel so sorry for you. A close colleague of mine got pregnant almost the same time as I did - though obviously she didn't miscarry. I am very glad she knows about my experiences, or it would be unbearable. It sometimes does help to let one or two people you work with know what's going on, because they can be very supportive and it helps just to get a friendly smile when they are all talking about their babies.
I have set up a google alert on 'recurring miscarriage' and today got the article on this link http://www.goupstate.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051122/ZNYT04/511220335/1051/NEWS01 it may just give you a bit of hope that there is always a way - I hope we both get to be members of that 'club' in the end. Sending you much love.

Mary Scarlet

I, too, know that seesaw emotional feeling. The sadness seemed to sock me whenever I let the guard down a little bit: yoga meditation, relaxing at home with my husband, church ... etc. I hope the recurrences are few for you. Your husband is a sweetheart, and so are you for thinking of the others while you yourself are suffering. I'm sorry Thalia. Hoping for a zero beta too.

fisher queen

Thalia I've been thinking of you every day. I am really hoping for a zero for you tomorrow. I wish there was more I could do. Please know you have a friend across the ocean who cares about you very much.

Lynnette

Thalia, I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. Three years ago I had a chemical before I even knew what one was. I didn't even know what a good beta number was, and when my OBGYN's nurse (without much IVF experience, herself) congratulated us, we told everyone who knew we were testing. Two hours later, I got the call from my RE's nurse, and it was all downhill from there. I will always cherish those two hours of innocence, really the only nice feeling I've had in the 5 1/2 years of trying. I felt a little "normal." I hope you'll have another chance. Hugs.

Lola

So sorry, Thalia. It really sucks. Some days I jsut want to take the universe by the throat and shak my fist in its face while saying, in a tragi-comical sort of way; "Why I oughtta POUND you!"

You're a bright spot in the blogiverse. I hope you don't have to suffer any more disappointments,

wessel

Thalia, I had already had several failing pregnancies when I first came upon Julie's blog. Her tagline struck me like a blast from out of nowhere. I think that most people cannot possibly understand what it means to be "a little bit pregnant." Yet I had 7 pregnancies that were on the brink and then took the dive. I lived for the numbers and the u/s exams. It was a crazy existence, never quite knowing how to answer the question, "are you pregnant?" "Um, well, yes . . . and . . . no."

Sigh.

I also spent a shabbat with some people and all the guests sat around the table for THREE HOURS talking NONSTOP about their children! I tried to change the subject very smoothly and craftily but to no avail. My poor DH was just sitting there, with nothing to say. How stupid of them. Why does anyone think that anyone wants to listen to them talk about their little brats? Who gives a fig? (insert "f" word of choice there) Even when I was the mother of a young child, I did not blab incessantly about him because I knew that would make me a BORE. Duh! So sorry you had to experience that.

I'm off now to go make some condolence calls in blogland.

Molly

It's good to hear from you again, Thalia.

shish

I know what you're going through with the changing emotions. My husband is currently living with Sybil. One minute I'm fine, and the next, I'm totally not, and I haven't even had my retrieval yet. My heart is with you, and I hope you get the zero beta level you want. You deserve that much. Just know that you have people supporting you out here, every step of your journey.

zhl

I hope you get a quick resolution to your limbo. Happy song but such a sad reality.

DD

I'm glad you're back, too. It breaks my heart that yours is broken right now. It seems weird for me to wish you a -0- beta, also, but I know that it will get you up and on your way again.

Love ya, dear.

Manuela

Oh, sweety... what is there to say or do other than to nod in commiseration. I'm so sorry... so incredibly sorry.

pixi

I thought about you a lot while you were "away." I'm glad to hear that you're doing relatively OK, though I know it must be hard at times. I find being in a group of "mommy talkers" one of the toughest things to endure. Sorry you had to deal with that at such an inopportune time.

Well, good luck with the test. Will you be having a follow-up visit with your RE then or just a blood draw?

amanda

Yep, the up and downs are so beyond normal. I'm so sorry you're having to go through all of this.

Lori

I hated the ups and downs of the post-miscarriage days. I'm so sorry you're going through the same thing. The whole situation just stinks.
And all that baby/parenting talk on top of it-never helps.
Thinking of you.

Meg

I know those ups and downs, I'm so sorry you are going through them. It does hurt and always seems to be the wrong time when people talk about their pregnancies. Hope things get better, look after yourself.

S

I'm sending you hugs and smooches to you, dear Thalia. I know all too well how you feel right now-and you have every right to it. People, no matter how cloes you are to them, can really be insensitive sometimes without even realizing it. Take all the time you need to heal-and don't feel badly about it, because you deserve it.

Jill

I'm thinking of you, hoping that your upcoming blood test shows that your beta is back down to zero so that you can put the stressful beta-tracking behind you, and wishing you comfort as you mourn.

ovagirl

Thalia I had a similar experience and yeah, very strange to know that one was pregnant just briefly. I hope you get the zero and can feel like you can move on.

Thinking of you.

Liz

Thalia, I'm so sorry for all that you are going through. I hope the beta will be zero tomorrow and you won't be on the beta seesaw waiting for it to go down. Thinking of you and wishing you well.

Teresa

Thalia I really hope that this episode is coming to an end. Waiting is terrible -- it's terrible when there is a potentially beautiful outcome, and it feels tragic when the only outcome is to simply move on.

The anger at being pregnant for a moment is totally justified. And mourning for moments and dreams is difficult because there is nothing to direct the feelings towards, but it's needed. The mourning is needed, and I hope you feel better soon.

You're in my thoughts.
xx

Katie

Thanks for your comment on my blog - and I was interested in what your friends were saying. So there.

katie

I've just realised I commented on the wrong post. Oops. That was meant to be on the 28th Nov post...

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