I haven't tested. I don't think I'm going to. I'm too scared of it being negative and being inconsolable more than once this cycle. H confessed to me today that he's really stressed about Friday, too. I'm sorry that this has got to him, as well. He's usually my rock, and he still is, but I hate to lean on him so much when he's clearly having his own tough time.
I am really scared. I want it to work so badly, and I'm close to being sure that it hasn't. I know it's all non-sensical but I had period-like cramps today, and other than the sore(ish, not very much) boobs which I know are down to the progesterone, I have no symptoms. I know it's probably too early, but still. Every time I felt a cramp today my brain completely disconnected from the meeting I was in and I wanted to shoot whoever was talking: "Don't you know that my body might be rejecting our baby as we speak? How dare you babble on about HR?" Only I didn't say any of that. I just smiled and nodded and tried to keep going.
I think the final indignity would be to start bleeding before Friday. I'd rather it held off until after I know the cycle is a bust. Please keep your fingers crossed (because we all know that that does a lot of good!) that I am allowed that little concession.
The good news is that I now know I can do IVF. It's not so bad. I will do another cycle as soon as they'll let me. One more cycle at my current clinic then we pull out the big guns and go to the UK's most successful clinic - where they treat you like cattle but get you pregnant, about 38% of the time. For four times the cost, but you know, it will be worth it if that's what it takes.
In the meantime my cycle buddy Lindy has some hopeful pee-stick results that I'm sure a bit of congratulations would make all the more satisfying.