The suppression scan this morning showed that I now have an endometrioma on both ovaries. I didn't have them in August - or if I did, no one mentioned them. So they've appeared since my last medicated cycle. According to the doc there is good ovarian tissue surrounding them, with plenty of antral follicles, but she needs to see the consultant (Dr Candour) to see if that tissue will be accessible for egg retrieval. It could be that the endometrioma gets in the way and then they are afraid of puncturing it during egg retrieval.
So I'm feeling rather upset. First, that in less than six months of my laparoscopy, I have developed endometriomas on both ovaries. After 20 years or so with no treatment, in May I only had one endometrioma. How did I get two in five months? What does that bode for future disease progression? Second, of course the fear that they'll cancel this cycle and tell me I need another lap. Which would really make me sad and frustrated.
Third, it re-awakens the fear I had when I first realised what having endometriosis meant (bizarrely, I don't seem to have blogged about this). The fear that I will never have biological children. After our visit to Dr Candour after the lap (linked above) I did a lot of research on endo and saw data that suggests that the average lifetime fertility of a woman with endometriosis is 42%. That's less than half a chance to have a baby in my lifetime. Since then I've managed to push this fear away by thinking about all the good news on my fertility - my hormone results, H's sperm count, etc. But today I'm freaking out again. Even if we do get pregnant, there's the risk of miscarriage.
I'm wondering what else I can do to help me get and stay pregnant despite this disease. Have any of you tried diet to treat your endo? To any effect? I've found websites saying no dairy, meat, wheat, sugar etc. but isn't this just what modern alternative medicine ppl say as soon as you have any kind of disease? What's the evidence? Of course it's worth it if I can have a baby, but will it really help? And these suggestions raise other issues. Some websites say drink soy instead of milk, but since soy is a phytoestrogen, isn't that the worst thing you can do? And where do you get calcium from if you give up dairy?
Any advice much appreciated. I'll update with the doctor's call later.