Well, the title says it all. Lining 10.5mm. On the right, one at 22mm, on the left, four - 17, 16, 16 and 14. They consider (now they tell me) anything above 14 as possibly fertile, so that gives us five follicles, and the cycle is cancelled.
We saw yet another doctor this morning, and lo, she was pretty much as bad as Dr ICU. Let's call her Dr Condescending, for the sake of argument. Before she even scanned me she sat us down to give us the speech. When I asked her very calmly about all the research I'd done, she told me that of course she'd seen lots and lots of patients, and therefore she knew that there was a high chance of multiples in my case. I asked her why, she told me that it was because of my lining and because the follicles kept growing, "even in the absence of the Puregon". I pointed out several times that since I had been taking Puregon in the evenings, I'd only been without it for 12 hours, so it was hard to tell what my follicles would do in the absence of it.
Given the research I'd done, I also asked about converting the cycle to IVF. She said not possible since I would have had to have taken the GNRh agonist by now. Not according to one article I read, but there you go.
We got the whole, "It's policy" speech, and most maddening of all the: "I know how you feel" comment. I really wanted to deck her at that point.
Eventually I gave up and we left, and I sobbed. As we were leaving she threw in the point about: "and no unprotected intercourse, either."
I know you guys are going to tell me to just have sex. But it's not that easy for us. H, remember, has a problem with impotence. This situation is pretty much guaranteed to make it impossible for him to perform. He also informed me this morning that he hasn't renewed his prescription for the impotence drug so we don't even have that crutch.
I really do feel devastated. I know it's nothing compared to what many of you have been through. But I really felt this was our cycle. We'd have a May baby, just as I always wanted (and fantasised about this time last year). I've taken two weeks off "to relax". HAHAHAHAHA. I won't be able to keep taking days off when treatment comes up. I feel like this was our chance and we got it snatched away from us. This month I put a moratorium on any travel for work, and mostly my clients understood. I don't know how I can manage to organise another month where I don't have to travel for work.
I know there will be another cycle. It just doesn't feel like it right now.