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Friday, 26 August 2005

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Lindy

Thanks for your comment over at my place.

Glad I found your blog - we're also slated to do our first IVF with the cycle that starts at the end of Sept. Retreival around the first week of Nov. We're going to risk one more injectibles/IUI in the mean time though.

What you said about IVF being scary because it's a last resort really rings true to me. And also about imagining your children.

Best of luck to you!

Larisa

I so hear you about wanting siblings for your future children. I cannot imagine losing my brother without having my sister. I can also understand your feelings of failure and loss. But I hope that this will achieve for you your dream family.

Suz

Exercising is a good thing and I would have done exactly the same thing when faced with the baby in the gym. I don't smile when mother's flaunt their children....on principle. So maybe you have some company in that bitchiness.

Emily

I could have written a lot of this. I 'get' this. I wouldn't have admired the baby either. People shouldn't assume that everyone loves babies and, like Suz, don't like when mother's flaunt their children in that "SEE, see what *I* can do?" It bugs me and it would bug me if I had 10 children of my own.

Patti

Hey Thalia, thank you very much for the info you posted on my blog. I haven't started researching the thyroid thing, but I will definitely do what I need to do to get it down.

I so relate to all your above points: IVF as last resort, only children, not wanting to coo over a baby. (I was never a big baby gusher over even before I started down this road...)

Patti
http://redvelvetcake.typepad.com/maternal_instinct

Jen

I think it makes perfect sense to think ahead to what may or may not be, to wrap your brain around what is non-negotiable.

IVF is scary, and it does feel like such a quantum leap from other IF treatments. Up until the point we decided to do it, I'd been of the mind that "we'd never do IVF." A silver lining, though, is that the success rates are so much higher--hopefully, enough to make it worth it.

Thinking of you, and hoping for the very best.

mm

I hating women who flaunt babies. Just as a hate women (or men for that matter) who flaunt their perfectly toned butts. Flaunters suck in general and I don't give them the satisfaction of smiling at their stupid offspring or their stupid buns.

Working through all of these feelings and dashed expectations is really difficult but it sounds like you're dealing with this stuff head on (and quite eloquently, I might add).
Good luck w. your cycle!

Panda

Ugh! Other peoples babies. Never does it for me.

Give yourself time to adjust to this next phase in your life. Its a big deal, and I know exactly what you mean about it seeming like the beginning of the end. Its almost impossible to view it as just another treatment.

Good luck with everything.

Teendoc

I remember feeling as you do. It passed and I moved past it. This is a difficult journey and we must adjust in our own time. Good luck.

chee chee

I know just how you feel. As we march toward IVF, I feel a real loss of faith in my body. I never expected to be on this road. I always assumed that we'd get pregnant on our own, or at a minimum, that IUI would have worked. I now feel like our backs are to the wall and we are fresh out of options. It's so frightening but I know that you can do it and I can to it. We will each get through this process with the love and support of our spouses, family and friends and will have our babies in the end, one way or another.

Hang in there.

Tania

I completely completely related to everything you have written and have experienced every last emotion.

Hopefully soon you'll get to the feeling of excitement that can come with a new protocol. (OK. Maybe excitment is an extreme word - I would get soooooooo annoyed when I told somebody we were starting IVF and they would say "that's so exciting!" There is nothing exciting about admitting reproductive defeat, about having to in effect harvest all of the reproductive materials out of two bodies and have a scientist join them for you... But it is a new beginning, which means you're not standing still, which is a good thing.)

And the thought of having an only child when you want more than one is terrifying. And believe me, once you have that first baby and start trying for the second one, you'll hear plenty of "well, at least you have one..." Easy for the fertile world to say.

Good luck! Do you know what kind of meds you will be on?

Em

I was having those only child thoughts as well. It is a strong possibility that we will have to do IVF and whilst I desperately wnat a baby, I would want to have more than one. My husband is an only child, as is his mother. When we move to Australia, she will be alone as she is single. I really related to your post.

Nico

It is so hard to let go of something you've imagined in a certain way, for so long. M doesn't understand why I'm so deeply upset - I think that explaining it to him like this, that I'm mourning the loss of my dreams, may help him get it.

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