My baby nephew is here to stay for the long weekend. He is two months old. He's not gorgeous but not ugly either (don't tell his parents I said that). I spent yesterday afternoon finding it very hard to interact with him, despite the fact that I usually am a sucker for babies and am happy to take them off their parents' hands. It just seemed too hard. I'm fine with my five year old nephew, S, I think because he's a real person to me, not a baby. If I had a child, it wouldn't be S, it would be our baby - mine and H's. With baby nephew he's still such an indistinct personality that he fills more of the generic role of "Baby", whom I do not have. Of course he looks nothing like any baby we would have - he's very blond and blue eyed while we are likely to produce a more brown haired, brown eyed baby. But that doesn't seem to matter. It was all too painful watching his parents interact with him, his mother feeding him, his big brother kissing him, his granny changing his nappy. H thoughtfully took them off to the park while I chilled out on the sofa for an hour.
Today seems better. My mother was here because she babysat last night while we went out with my brother and sister-in-law to see the Star Wars movie (I had incredibly low expectations, it was better than that, the special effects were stupendous, Nathalie Portman was the only person involved giving an even vaguely credible performance). When I came down this morning the baby had just woken up so she just handed him to me while she entertained the five year old. The baby is pretty hard to resist at that close range - he's very chatty and interactive and needs a lot of attention, so the two of us hang out for an hour or so, and it wasn't too bad. I remembered that I'm good with babies and that doesn't go away just because I don't have one of my own.
In the meantime I'm massively regretting telling my mother anything about what's going on. She's constantly offering me what friend X did about endometriosis, what doctor Y said when friend X saw him, what Z acupuncturist did for daughter of colleague Q, etc. Then she did the classic: "why don't you look after the baby for a day, then maybe you won't want one so much". I didn't dignify that with an answer!
I'm about to take Internal Spring's advice and go to the gym - first time since the operation. I think I'll feel better about myself if I stop being such a slug and start trying to tone up some of the flab that's arrived since Christmas. Hope all of you are enjoying your Sunday.